Gay Erotic Stories

This is maybe the third or fourth story I ever wrote. I never showed it to you before because I figured it was just a simple fuck and suck story, and who wants to read one of those, anyway? OK, maybe a bunch of horny 17 year olds, but they're not allowed. Tell them to go away. However I've had enough requests ("Hey, this one goes out to Lorraine and Dave in the Valley, and to all the folks listening at Kinko's tonight") for a simple fuck and suck story, so maybe there's an audience for this shit after all. Anyway, a warning: I fired my joke writer last week, so there's no funnies in here. Like I said, just fucking and sucking. Yuk. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Drive In - by MIKE HUNT -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here it was July, and I was home from college. My summer job had fallen through when the company where I was supposed to work had suddenly been sold, then closed. By the time I tried applying other places, everything was taken, except maybe flipping burgers on the evening shift. And I wasn't going to give up my nights, that was for sure. So I was spending my time just screwing around, trying to get laid and generally doing nothing. So far I was being pretty successful at all of it. It was Tuesday night, and I was waiting for Sue to get off work. Jim and his date Sandy were supposed to meet us at around 8PM, and the four of us were going to double date to the drive-in. The passion pit, officially the Twin Screens, was the last one in the county. The only other drive-in had closed at the end of the past summer. I changed my clothes into a fresh pair of boxers and loose fitting Bermuda shorts. I slipped on a casual golf shirt and a pair of loafers, and I was ready to go. It was just after 7 when the phone rang. It was Sue. She'd cut her finger preparing dinner and was headed to the hospital emergency room. She told me it wasn't a serious injury, but might require a couple of stitches. She apologized for screwing up our plans, but I told her not to worry about it and to go take care of herself. I hung up, and then lifted the receiver and dialed Jim's number. No answer. I didn't know Sandy; in fact I think Jim had only gone out with her once or twice, so I couldn't call her. I left a message on Jim's machine, and then sat down in the den. I flipped on the tube. About 20 minutes later, Jim's car pulled up outside. He honked the horn, and I went out to tell him what had happened. I walked up to his window. He said "Jump in. Let's go get Sue." I explained to him that there wasn't going to be any Sue, and there wasn't going to be any movie, and there weren't any plans for the night, at least for me. I looked across at his date. Sandy was a cutie, with deep blue eyes and short but striking dark hair. She was wearing a low cut halter top that buttoned up the front and a pair of white shorts. I especially liked her cute, upturned nose. Her figure, as best I could tell, was pretty darn good. I told them to go on and have a good time when Sandy piped up. "Why don't you come with us anyway?" I could tell Jim thought that was a terrible idea, I mean, who wants a third-wheel in the car at the drive-in? "Thanks, but I don't think so. I wouldn't be comfortable, and I'd just be in the way, and..." She interrupted. "Don't be silly. We don't have to go to the drive-in. Maybe we'll just go get something to eat." Now I knew Jim was doing a slow burn. I was screwing up his evening as well as my own, and I wasn't even trying! "No really," I said. "No really," she said. "I'd love, I mean we'd love to have you come along." She poked Jim in the ribs. He piped up. "Sure, come on along. It's a twin screen, maybe we'll go see whatever's playing on the other side." He was just trying to save the idea of the drive-in, I think he would have agreed to almost anything at that point. I had the thought that maybe she didn't want to go to the drive-in alone with him. It was, after all, only their second or third date, and with the four of us in the car there certainly would have been some making out, maybe even some petting, it wouldn't have gone any further. In a funny way, I was her safety ticket. I said "OK, let's go." I hopped in the back seat. We sped away. 10 minutes later we were at the drive-in, and we were early. Normally we would have wasted another 20 minutes picking up Sandy and then another 15 minutes getting back to the movie lot, since Sandy lived pretty far on the other side of town. When we got to the Twin Screens, we were dismayed to find the second screen playing a truly stupid movie that none of us wanted to see. A lawyer who couldn't lie. Who could believe that premise? We reverted to our original plan, which was to see the "dirty movies" playing on Screen 1. The Twin had a funny set-up, both screens were erected back-to-back on the same towers. So you'd see families driving in with station wagons loaded with kids, and you'd see couples driving in Mustangs and Chevy's. It wasn't hard to figure out who was driving into which theater. Except for the vans, of course. They could go either way. The attendant gave us the hairy eyeball as we drove in to Screen 1. I guess three in a car was pretty unusual, for obvious reasons. Jim wanted to park in the very last row, but Sandy objected. Obviously he had one thing on his mind and she didn't. We parked about 2/3 of the way back, right in the middle. We had a great location. Jim kept asking me if the view was good from my seat in the back. The drive-in was sculpted into small berms which tilted the car upwards a little, and made the angle perfect for viewing from either the front or the back. I told him it was fine. At the time I just thought he wanted to make sure I could see the movie. It never occurred to me that he planned on occupying the back seat later on. Jim made sure to park as far from the speaker post as possible, to make the space next to him as small as possible, so as to discourage anyone from parking there. He was obviously an old hand at this. He reached out and grabbed the speaker off the post and hung it on his window. He turned up the volume control to test it, and it worked, sort of. It was apparent that this drive-in was still in business because they hadn't spent 10 cents on improvements since 1954. Most drive-ins these days play the sound through the car radio, or use wireless speakers, but not the old Twin Screens. The sound was passable, if not great, and anyway, nobody came here for the audio fidelity. It wasn't another 15 minutes when they started rolling the first movie, even though it wasn't dark yet, you could see the images on the screen. The first picture was just an "R" rated one, anyway. It was one of those "tits and ass" movies like you find nowadays on the hotel pay-TV channels. "Hard R", they call it. The 2nd and 3rd features would be hard-core. Because it was still light out, Jim didn't try to slap the make on Sandy. Instead we all sat in the car pulling cans of beer from the paper bag that Jim had thoughtfully provided. We talked about this and that. Sandy turned to me as we talked. Jim kept his eyes on the screen. Every once in a while Sandy would turn back to the screen, check out the action, then turn to face us again. The lot filled up as it began to get dark. No one parked close by. The car got quiet for a couple of moments, it was just a natural lull in the conversation, but it was enough for Jim. He reached over and pulled Sandy across the bench seat to him. He kissed her, but after 10 seconds or so, she broke it off. One of the actors in the movie was saying "So you're just a tease, you're just playing with me, trying to get me in trouble." Jim said, "Yeah, you're just a tease..." It was obvious that he was kidding. Sandy said, "but I feel a little uncomfortable. There's Mike in the back seat looking at us, well I mean looking at the movie but here we are in the way, and he's back there alone, and, I don't know, it just feels weird." "Do you want to change places?" I asked. "I'd be glad to, then you guys get the back seat and I'll be alone in the front, and everything'll be fine." "Great idea," Jim piped up at once. He pulled on his door handle, but Sandy wasn't quite as eager. After a minute she decided it was OK, and she pulled on her door handle as well. My door opened at the same moment. She and I had gotten out of the same side of the car. As we passed each other I motioned to the other cars nearby and whispered to her "I wonder what these people think of this little Chinese fire drill. Especially with just three people!" She burst out laughing, a good belly laugh, and looked at me as we moved past each other. She was still giggling as she got in the car. "OK, what's so funny, guys?" Jim said. Sandy told him what I had said, and he thought it was funny too. We settled down to watch the movie. I stayed on the passenger side and waited until I thought I heard them making out. Then I reached for the rear-view mirror and tried to adjust it so I could have something to look at both out the windshield and in the back seat. "Hey, no fair," she said. Caught! I mumbled, "Just moving it so I can check out my hair." It was a transparent lie and they both knew it. The movie had been on for at least 40 minutes, and it was pretty much a bore. We talked about one girl who we all agreed was quite pretty, but the guys were ugly and most of the women in it were nothing special. Silence filled the car once again, and in another 10 minutes the credits were rolling; this one was done. I volunteered to go to the snack bar. "Get some popcorn," Jim said. "And something chocolate. And some nachos." I took the bill he offered and jumped out of the car. The drive-in ran a little "5 minute to movie" countdown short, complete with dancing candy bars and singing pretzels. When I got through the line and back to the car, Jim was kissing Sandy again. The sound of my door opening broke them up; Sandy looked a little disheveled and a little embarrassed. I handed them the beer and other stuff, and backed out, preparing to return to my door and climb into the front seat. It was Sandy's voice that I heard. "Why don't you come back here and sit until we finish the nachos. Otherwise there's going to be hot cheese dripped all over the car." OK. It made sense, even though I thought I would be more comfortable in the front. After all, up there I could surreptitiously play with myself while I watched the movie. In the back I couldn't. But I agreed, and climbed in next to her. She balanced the nachos on her lap as she passed a beer to each of us. The second movie began. I said "I hope there's some semblance of a plot, instead of just a bunch of fuck scenes, you know?" "Yeah," Sandy replied. "Most of these movies get boring after the first 20 minutes or so, cause it's the same thing over and over. A little dialog and a little plot goes a long way." On the screen, a so-called Hollywood producer was auditioning talent for his new epic, "Big Ride in Pink Hills." He was sitting on the corner of a desk with the script on his lap as he addressed three young women. They were fully, if sexily clothed. "At least they're pretty," I said. "And he's pretty good looking, too," Sandy chimed in. Jim sat silently on the other side. I don't think he thought this "me in the back seat" was such a good idea. I was getting comfortable with it, especially when the side of my leg pressed up against hers and she didn't move it away. But I knew I'd be leaving in another 10 minutes or so, when the nachos were done. Jim grabbed for another handful. "OK, girls, let's see what you can do to turn me on," Mr. Hollywood said to the three actresses. They stood up and began to dance. Music appeared from nowhere, as it often does in these low-budget flicks. "Couldn't they at least have thought to have a radio in the room, or something?" I wondered aloud. Sandy giggled. The girls danced. One of them, the prettiest, I thought, went over to the producer and writhed up and down as she unbuttoned her blouse. Another went over to him and turned around and bent over, showing him her pantie covered butt. The third walked over behind the dancer and began unfastening her skirt. In a moment it fell to the floor, and she began unfastening her own clothing. "Well, we're not wasting any time on plot development here, I see," Sandy said. "No sense actually trying to act in one of these, I suppose." She paused for a moment, and then said "Oh look!" Mr. Producer had the script sitting in his lap. But it was now apparent that his dick was not in his pants and he was beginning to get an erection. The paper moved, seemingly of its own force, then moved again. As he became more erect, the paper bounced. "Boy it sure is a good thing one of you boys isn't holding the nachos," she said. "What do you mean?" he said. "Well, here I am with a plate of nachos and hot cheese on my lap. Now let's suppose that we had it on YOUR lap, Jimbo. See how Mr. Hollywood is having trouble keeping the script balanced..." "Oh, oh. I get it." Jim brightened. "Anyway, if that happened to me, that script wouldn't just be bouncing on my lap. I'd have launched it up to the ceiling with such force..." he trailed off. "Oh really. Going for the title of Mr. Big are you?" she said. "Am I what?" he asked. "Big? Or going for the title?" "Eyoooo," she shrieked. "That's a little more information than we need thanks." She turned to me and winked. Jim let out a laugh, but a beer belch caught him by surprise and he also burped. We all howled. The car quieted down and our attention returned to the screen. One of the girls picked up the script, and low and behold, his dick was at half-mast beneath it. She took his dick in her hand. "Oh, here we go," Sandy said to no one in particular. "Blow job. Big ole blow job." The beer was beginning to loosen us up. My eyes were glued to the screen as I reached for the nachos. She saw my arm coming and lifted up the plate of food. My hand sort of punched into her crotch. I quickly turned my head and saw what had happened, and blushed a beet red. I instantly withdrew my hand. She laughed at my discomfort and quickly brought the nachos back down. Jim finally took his eyes off the screen and glanced our way, but by then everything was normal, and he couldn't figure out why she was laughing. Sure enough, the next five minutes of the movie was spent on a blow job scene, with pretty girl #1 kneeling in front of the guy and sucking on his dick, pretty girl #2 lying on her back and eating out girl #1, and pretty girl #3 watching the whole thing while she played with her pussy on the other side of the room. "I really like the one on her knees," Jim said. "Great tits. Pretty good mouth action, too, huh?" "Great tits. Great tits. That's all you guys care about. How would you like it if all women talked about was 'great dick' 'great dick' all the time?" Jim spoke right up, "Fine with me. I've got a good one. Works perfect, nice finish, good color, you know." I paused a moment, then responded, "Truthfully, I wouldn't like it. I'm just about average in size, at least judging from the movies I've seen." "Will you guys stop it?" Sandy said. "I was only joking. Jeez, you really would like it if we girls judged you that way. What a bunch of pecker-heads." We laughed again. The scene on the screen changed, and now Mr. Hollywood was directing one of his starlets in a "test" scene with a male actor. The guy was lying on the bed, dressed only in a stretchy pair of tight underwear. She was making out with him and squeezing his dick through the shorts. Apparently Jim could wait no longer, and put his arm around Sandy and pulled her toward him. He gave her a deep, long kiss, and while I did my best to evaporate into the back of the seat, I couldn't help but notice him slide one of his hands up to her breasts. This time Sandy didn't fight, and they held the kiss for a couple minutes. When they came up for air, I spoke. "Maybe I should get back in front," I said. Sandy turned her head to look at me and said "Don't be silly. We're all friends here." She patted me on the knee. "Sure, we're all friends here, rolling around in the back seat of the car," Jim repeated. "Gimme another beer. Want some nachos, Mike? Just grab a handful." Sandy cracked up. Jim pulled her to him and kissed her again. Again I saw his hand creep up and squeeze her breast through her thin halter top. When it ended, Jim and Sandy looked at the screen. "Jeez, look at the knockers on her," he said. "Beautiful body. Beautiful set of tits. Man, they don't come much better than that." "Hey, watch your mouth," Sandy said, with a trace of irritation. "No, you watch your mouth," he said back to her. "Oh yeah?" she said. "This mouth could be very good to you. You watch it, buster." I thought this might get out of hand, so I interrupted. "Hey listen guys, this is, well, I'm feeling a little strange here. I mean, like I don't belong, you know? Maybe I should just get out and walk to the refreshment stand or something." "Oh, Mikey," Sandy said. "You're feeling left out. Oh, how inconsiderate of us. Here, everything's fine." And with that she turned toward me and gave me a kiss right on the lips. It wasn't more than a few seconds long, and there was no tongue or anything, but I was so shocked, I'm sure my eyes became the size of dinner plates looking at her. When she finally broke it off, she giggled. "So how's that, sailor? Don't leave the party so soon." Jim pulled her back to him and kissed her roughly. One of his hands was draped over her shoulder, and he began easing it down, trying to invade the top of her halter. The other hand came up from below to grab her other tit. At this point is where the fireworks really began. Even though she was twisted away from me, the arm that was closest to me reached out and touched my thigh. She rested her hand there, and I could feel the burning of her palm against my skin. She squeezed my leg. After several moments Jim came up for air, and she said to him "Now we mustn't let Mikey feel like the other kids don't want to play with him, Jim. Mustn't we?" No answer. "Mustn't we?" she repeated. Jim was sitting with one hand down the front of her blouse, his other hand was trying to unbutton the tiny buttons that held the two sides of material together over her breasts. He had already gotten two of them to surrender. She turned to the front, and her eyes focused on the screen. "Now there's a nice body. That turns me on." There was a guy sitting cross-legged on the bed while a girl bounced up and down on his lap. You could see his penis entering her, then sliding back, then entering her again. "She has really nice breasts, don't you think?" "You're talking about her?" Jim exclaimed. "Yeah. To put it in your language, Jim, nice tits." She smirked as she said it. "But really, mine are almost as good." She turned and looked me in the eye. "Just give Jim another minute with these buttons and you'll see what I mean..." She blinked. "Oh, I'm shameless. Jim, get your hands out of my blouse, right now." He didn't move. "You see, it's hopeless," she told me. "He just won't stop." Another button released. There were only two left holding the top together, but even now the gap caused by the four open ones was deep and wide, and I could see one full breast through the opening in the material. My eyes were riveted. "Oh look, Mikey sees a tit. Here, have some more," she joked. And with that she grabbed one side of the top and pulled it aside, flashing me in the process. My jaw dropped. She laughed out loud, as did Jim. Another button released. "Hey, whoa boys, that's enough. I'm not going to sit here with my, ah, you know, hanging out for you to see. There's plenty of action on the screen. Calm down, now." She slapped Jim's hand away from the last button. We settled down for a moment and looked back at the screen. The girl was squatting over the guy, sliding up and down on his dick. He was, of course, as hard as a rock, and sticking straight up in the air. Well, almost straight up. He had a little bend in his dick, something that's fairly common in guys with big dicks, as the blood vessels sometimes fill one side a little more than the other. "Oh look," Sandy said. "His dick is crooked!" "Hey, watch it," Jim said. "That's not crooked, that's, uh, unique. It's, uh, more interesting." "Well well well," she said. "Someone in this car is feeling a little self-concious. Open the window, Mike. I want to tell the rest of the folks here at the drive-in..." Jim cut her off. "Shut up. It's just..." She jumped right back at him. "Hey, take it easy. I was only kidding. I guess you're real sensitive about it. I've never seen one like that. I mean except up on the silver screen." All our heads turned back to the screen. The girl was sliding up and down his shaft, squinting her eyes, her tits bouncing with every thrust. The guy wasn't doing anything but sit there. But the girl's position, facing the camera, left her entire cunt on display as his fuck tool slid up and down into it. There was absolute silence in the car. "Anyone else, uh, hot in here?" I asked. "Whew, you bet" they both said in unison. "Sooooo..." She seemed to be thinking. She said it slowly. "sooooo, Now everybody takes off their clothes?" Before she could finish the sentence Jim went for his pants. Sandy shrieked. "I was only kidding. Can't you tell when I'm kidding?" she said. "Apparently not," he replied. His hand slowly pulled on his buckle, and it quietly opened. He found the tab on his zipper and slowly lowered it. She stared at the movements, not knowing whether to stop him or not. When the zipper reached the bottom, he pulled her back to him and said, "Now I want a kiss, and I mean a good one." She opened her lips and kissed him. As she did, she reached back for my leg, and began stroking my thigh. Then I saw her other hand reach into Jim's open pants while he fumbled with the last button on her top. The button released, and her tits swung free. Her hand disappeared beneath the material of his jeans, and I could tell she had grabbed his hardness in her hand. They stayed like that for several minutes, him grasping at her swaying tits while she stroked him under his pants. Finally they broke. "Oh Mikey," she said. "There you are again, all alone." She turned to face me and then began moving toward me. My eyes were glued to her breasts, now winking in and out of the sides of her unbuttoned top. Her other hand never left Jim's pants. She leaned over and kissed me, sliding her hand harder and faster up and down my thigh. I couldn't help myself. I reached around and cupped one of her tits, and felt the point of her nipple against my fingers. I wondered why Jim wasn't objecting, but when I peeked out through one eye, I saw that he was grabbing the tit closest to him, and that her hand had freed his dick from his pants, her fist was now stroking it up and down even while she was kissing me. Our kiss was passionate, with our tongues dancing against each other, darting in and out of one another's mouths. The kiss finally ended. Her hand kept pumping him. She sat up straight between us, and bent her head to look at him. "Oh, I see. It's a little bent, all right." I couldn't help myself. I craned my neck forward and looked at his dick. I thought to myself "Yep, sure is." She said, "Mikey. Are you bent, too?" "No no," I blushed. Straight as an arrow. But not as big as Jim." Who, by the way, had his head leaning back against the top of the seat with his eyes closed, content to have her jerking him off while this conversation was going on. "Show me," she said. I was shocked by her directness. I stammered. I blushed. I didn't know what to do. I sat there like a school kid. "Oh for heaven sakes," she said. Her free hand went to my crotch, and found the zipper to my shorts. Because her other hand was busy, she had some trouble pulling down my zipper, but I was too mesmerized to help, and anyway it was fun having her hand glide across my hardness under the shorts. But after a few moments I gave in and assisted. Out came my dick. "Yep. I see," she said. "Not as big as Jimbo, over here, but straight as an arrow." I saw his eyes open and he stared at my lap. My dick stood up as if to salute. She was sitting between us, with one fist around each of our cocks, pumping up and down. On the screen our hero was lying on his back while another girl sat on his face. In the back of the car, she was jerking off the two of us while we played with her tits. Jim was the first to move. His hand left her breasts and went for her pants. She raised up off the seat to help him. Seeing that, I joined in and tugged at her shorts from the other side. With the two of us working, they slid right off. Her hands continued grasping at us without missing a beat. On the screen the scene changed. Now another woman had joined them, and the two women were kissing. Sandy was moaning. Jim reached for her cunt, but was stopped by her panties. "Lift up," he commanded. She did. We repeated our earlier action, and her panties slid down to her knees, and from there fluttered down to her ankles. She kicked them aside. Now she was completely naked. Jim reached down with one hand, and her legs parted. He had to reach farther than his arm naturally allowed, however, and he bent toward her. As he did so, his head moved toward her breast. He quickly got the idea to kiss it. But in leaning over toward her, he pushed her toward me. Before we knew it, we had all tumbled to one side, with me on the bottom. Her head was closest to my crotch, and as Jim struggled to get his weight off both of us, she moved her lips to my flagpole. She kissed it gently as she got up on her hands and knees. Now she was kneeling with her head in my lap. Her ass was sticking up in the air, aimed directly at Jim. He took the hint, and got up on his knees behind her. "All together now," she said, as she lowered her lips around my sensitive stick. Jim pushed at he from behind, and found the opening of delight which swallowed his cock inch by inch until there was no more. She made soft sucking sounds in my lap, while the Slap Slap Slap of Jim's balls bouncing against her added some other sounds in the car. I reached up and balanced one of her hanging breasts in my hand. I said, "Nice tits." She giggled, and the vibration of her mouth on my dick gave me a sensation I liked a lot. "Two can play at that game," she said out of the sides of her mouth. "Nice dick." She paused. "Hey Mr. Bender. Harder, wouldja?" Jim complied, almost doubling his rhythm. The screen changed again. Now there were two guys standing over the pretty girl, and she was squeezing her tits together with her upper arms. Both guys were jerking off, and it was clear that they were going to come on her tits. "Cum shot coming up," I said. Jim opened his eyes. Sandy raised her head, leaving my dick but still pounding me mightily with her enclosed fingers. As the guys on the screen started shooting their milky spunk all over her, Sandy sighed, Jim groaned, and I felt myself reach the point of no return. All three of us watched the guys on the screen shoot load after load after load on her tits. It was clear that Jim was also ready, and the Sandy said "Wow, that's great." She paused. "And now it's my turn." She began to rock back hard against Jim's hard cock, and her breathing increased in tempo and volume. Her mouth returned to nurse my hard-on, and as she came, she lost control so much that for an instant I could feel her teeth against my skin. With her vibrations now filling the car, I lost control and exploded against her tongue, shooting shot after shot of sticky goop into her mouth. She took it all, right down to the very last little drop. And as she sat up, I could hear her swallowing, trying to get the stuff out of her mouth. I offered her my beer. She drank it greedily as we all sat back against the car seat. She was completely naked. Jim and I both leaned back exhausted, our spent members sitting in our lap. We all sat silently for several minutes until she spoke. "Well, boys. You really know how to show a lady a good time. But, ah, this *is* a double feature, isn't it? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So like I said, it's just a little story about me and my friend's bent dick. No contests, no hype, no jokes, no plot, no characterization, no muss, no fuss, no nothing. No shit. If you'd like to get some of my more sophomoric humorous material, or perhaps my incredibly trite romantic pieces, or even a part of my master's thesis on the repopulation of the white leopard in Southern Africa, send me an e-mail and I'll put you on the list for the next one. The address is MrM1KE@aol.com. Or if you're feeling really kinky, use the Bannerboy1@aol.com address. You get the same shit by using the second address, but it'll make you feel special, knowing that you've bucked the crowd. Try to remember to indicate your approximate age, and if the number is lower than 18, don't be surprised if you don't get the response you hoped for. Also remember that my name is spelled with a "one" (1) not an "eye" (I). Thanks. I've got a new joke writer coming in for an interview tonight. That ought to spice up the next story a little. He even sent a sample with his resume: This is a test. For the next few lines, this author will conduct an audition of the jokes-in-the-middle-of-a-sex-story writer. This is only a test. A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss interviewed him, and even though the boy didn't have any experience, he got the job. The boss said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up." The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly showed up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?". "One" said the young salesman. "Only one?" blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?" "$334,320.00 " said the young man. "How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss. "Well" said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium