Gay Erotic Stories

MenOnTheNet.com

up against it 1999

by Max sprouse


“anything worth doing, is worth doing in public.” —joe orton: up against it (1967) (title and opening credits. music: the ad libs, “boy from new york city.) (scene: florida, summer.) (fade up to four young men in a convertible). nick: man, i can’t wait to get to the beach. jeff: yeah, it’s hot. drew: it’s too fuckin’ hot. nick: i wonder what the temperature is. drew & jeff: shut up! nick: what! what did i say? drew: don’t act innocent. jeff: he couldn’t act innocent if he tried. drew: he can’t control himself. nick: i can too control myself. drew: then how come you’ve been flashing your tits at every cute thing we’ve driven past. nick: i haven’t been. drew: you have. nick: well, they like to see my tits. drew: then they can pay their money like everybody else and come to the show where they can see you flash your tits and we can make a buck off of it. jeff: them. drew: whatever. nick: don’t act like you don’t. drew: don’t what? nick: use your tits. drew: only for work. nick: then put your shirt back on. drew: i’m workin’ on my tan, man. nick: and calm justin down. he’s drooling all over the back seat. drew: i tried, man. he’s just a little excited today, aren’t you boy? (he rubs justin behind the ears.) justin: (panting happily) woof! drew: and besides, you know how he gets when he gets out and sees all this flesh wandering past. he just can’t control it. no he can’t, can you, doggie? justin: woof! woof! jeff: well, try anyway. last time he got this excited he peed all over the back seat and i had a hell of a time explaining that one to the rental people. nick: you had to explain it to them? jeff: well, yeah. nick: why? jeff: well, i had to tell them something. you wouldn’t want to see the headlines in the tabs, would you? “number one in the backseat!” nick: jeff, you don’t have to explain anything to anyone. we’re stars now. we can do whatever we want. jeff: that’s just it. we can’t. we have an image to protect. nick: an image to protect? jeff: yes. we’re supposed to be clean upstanding cute young men from ohio. we can’t be caught doing things that would hurt our image with our fans. they want us to be clean upstanding young men from ohio. they don’t want to know that justin here reverts at the sight of bare skin. they don’t want to know that you are a little exhibitionist who can’t keep his tits in his pants. nick: “my tits in my pants”? jeff: you know what i mean. nick: and you, mr. perfect? jeff: at least i’m discreet. nick: oh. yeah. jeff: don’t start. at least drew here knows how to keep it under control. nick: yeah, drew the saint. jeff: yes he does. drew: yes i do. nick: don’t be so sure. one of these days, bro’, i’m going to find out what your dirty little secret is. drew: i don’t have any dirty little secrets. nick: yes you do. everyone does. (they ride in silence.) drew: “number one in the backseat.” that’s funny. (more silence.) nick: i thought you knew the way to the beach. jeff: i do. nick: this doesn’t look anything like the beach. this looks like a very low rent part of town. jeff: well, excuse me. i’ve never been to daytona beach before. nick: you’re the one driving, mr. boss man. you should know what you’re doing. jeff: would you rather we go down to orlando? nick & drew: (shouting) NO! justin: (growling) GRRRR! jeff: just asking. nick: why don’t you pull over and “just ask” for directions. jeff: i will in a minute. nick: look. there’s a police car. drew: where? where? nick: over there. jeff, go ask him where we are. jeff: fine. (he eases the convertible off the road and parks it behind a police car. he honks the horn and a policeman comes back.) jeff: excuse me, officer, but we’re kind of lost. we’re looking for the beach. policeman: well, you boys are totally heading the wrong way. you have to turn right around and go back about two miles down the road nick: see, i told you. jeff: thank you, officer. policeman: say, is your friend there alright? he’s got kind of a wild look in his eye. jeff: (quickly) no, oh, no. he’s fine. (he turns around.) you’re o.k., aren’t you, justin? policeman: actually, i meant the other one. nick: drew? (drew doesn’t respond. he’s staring at the policeman.) jeff: (suddenly) we’ve gotta go. (he starts the car. then justin’s head jerks up. long shot of the street corner. two guys crossing the street. both shirtless, in doc marten’s and cutoffs. one is blond and cleancut, the other dark-haired and hairy-chested.) justin: WOOF! (he leaps out of the car and bounds down the street toward them.) nick: uh-oh! jeff: oh, god. policeman: what the hell? (justin is still racing toward the two guys, but before he catches up with them, they have turned the corner and are out of sight.) nick: i’ll take care of it. (he gets out of the car and runs down the street after justin.) policeman: what the hell was that all about? jeff: uh, i wouldn’t worry about it, officer. i think he saw somebody he knows. yeah, that’s it. right, drew? (drew doesn’t respond. he’s still staring at the policeman. at crotch level.) jeff: (nervously) i’m sure they’ll be right back. (medium shot, nick’s p.o.v. as he turns the corner. justin has pinned the dark-haired guy up against the wall and is licking his chest. the blond guy is watching, amazed.) nick: oh, no. (he runs over and tries to pull justin off the dark-haired guy.) down, justin! down, boy! blond guy: what’s he doing, dude? nick: (holding back justin, who is whining and trying to get back to the dark-haired guy.) it’s cool, man. it’s cool. he gets this way sometimes. dark-haired guy: wow! that was intense! nick: sorry, man. let’s go, justin. dark-haired guy: no, man! that was great. nick: excuse me? dark-haired guy: that was so hot, man! nick: what? dark-haired guy: yeah, man! turn him loose! nick: you liked that? dark-haired guy: shit, yeah! that dude was rockin’ on my chest, man. i want him back on it! nick: (looking around) well, o.k., but we can’t be doin’ this out here. (the dark-haired guy and the blond guy look at each other.) blond guy: there’s a little place nearby we might go. nick: (looking him over and breaking into a grin.) lead on, cutie. (cut to: jeff and drew and the policeman. jeff is in a panic.) jeff: i think i better go see what’s holding them up. (he gets out of the car and skitters around the corner.) policeman: (confused) i don’t know what the hell’s goin’ on here. do you know what the hell’s going on, boy? drew: (finally breaking his gaze and looking up to the policeman.) can we please go sit in your car, sir? cut back to jeff rounding the corner. he can see, down at the other end of the block, the two guys leading nick and justin into a store. over the doorway, a weather-beaten sign proclaims “adult world.” jeff: oh, god! no! (inside “adult world.” the four go down a short dark hall. there are rows of rooms. the dark-haired guy goes into one.) dark-haired guy: (turning and calling to justin.) come on, boy! come to daddy! justin: (with a bright excited look in his eyes) yipe! (he jumps into the room with the dark-haired guy, who closes the door.) nick: (facing the blond guy) well, that takes care of him. what about me? (the blond guy takes nick by the hand and wordlessly draws him into another room. the door closes.) (cut to: “adult world” interior. jeff bursts through the door. the man behind the counter looks up inquiringly.) counterman: can i help you? jeff: (looking around anxiously. he doesn’t know what to do.) uh, no, thanks. just, uh, browsing. (he turns away and starts to peruse the objects for sale. the store radio is playing: elvis presley, “can’t help falling in love.”) (cut to: police car interior. the policeman is watching drew intently. drew is intently watching the policeman’s crotch.) policeman: (quietly) can i help you with something there, son? (drew looks hopeful. the policeman nods. drew leans over and puts his face down into the policeman’s lap. He starts to lick the front of the policeman’s uniform.) (cut to: “adult world” booth.. it is dark and dirty. there is a coin box on the wall and a small tv screen with static playing. the dark-haired guy is leaning back against the wall and justin is licking his chest. the dark-haired guy is moaning as justin licks the thick dark hair. he makes long passes with his tongue up the guy’s chest. he is whimpering slightly and making more little whining noises. the guy grabs justin’s head and holds it down over one of his nipples. justin responds by chewing on it, biting it.) dark-haired guy: fuck! (cut to: another booth. the blond guy and nick are deep-kissing. they quickly unbuckle each other’s shorts and push them down. their erections pop out against each other’s bellies. nick grabs them both in his hand and squeezes. the other guy reaches down and grabs nick’s ass with both hands, pulling him closer.) (cut to: the front room at “adult world.” jeff is still glancing nervously around, wondering where the others have gone, but too afraid to go look for them. when the counterman looks his way, he quickly turns back to the racks of sexual paraphernalia. looking at the magazine covers and objects around him is not making him any less nervous. while he is looking at one, something catches his attention. he gasps. close-up on: a pink-flesh-colored fifteen-inch-long four-inch-thick dildo. jeff tries to look away, but can not. he is transfixed. he breaks out in a sweat.) (cut to: police car interior. the policeman pushes drew’s head away from his lap.) policeman: we might as well do this right, boy. (he adjusts his seat so that it slides all the way back. then he undoes his pants and pulls out his cock. it is long, uncut, and completely hard. he holds it at the base and waves it back and forth.) now, you want to suck this cock, boy? drew: (completely surrendering) yes, sir. policeman: well, go to it. i’ll keep an eye out. (drew leans back over and takes the policeman’s cock in his mouth. he starts sucking it. we watch his head going up and down, wrapping his mouth around the dick and covering it with his saliva. the policeman watches him as drew keeps sucking.) (cut to: booth #1. the dark-haired guy is undoing his belt and pushing his cutoffs down to the floor of the booth. he puts his hand on justin’s head and pushes it down his hairy stomach. justin keeps licking all the way down. when he is finally on his knees, he takes the guy’s cock in his mouth. he sucks it, whimpering all the while. sometimes he takes his mouth off of it and licks the guys balls. this seems to make him happier because they’re as hairy as the guy’s chest.) (cut to: booth #2. nick and the blond guy are still going at it. nick has turned him around and is eating out the blond’s ass for all he’s worth. he holds the guy’s buttcheeks apart and dives in. the blond guy is groaning and pushing his butt back into nick’s face. we watch this for several minutes. the blond guy is becoming more vocal. suddenly, he shouts.) blond guy: goddamn! eat my fuckin’ ass! (cut to: the front room. the blond guy’s words are clearly audible. jeff’s head jerks up. he spins around.) jeff: what was that? counterman: (nonchalantly) i didn’t hear nothing. jeff: (turning back to look at the dildo again. he has the look of a man possessed. he has clearly gone over the edge. he snatches the dildo up and walks up to the counter.) i’ll take this. counterman: (ringing up the sale) charge card or cash? jeff: card. no, no, i mean cash! (the counterman rings him up and goes back to his magazine. he doesn’t see jeff scurrying into the back hallway and diving into the first empty booth. once inside, jeff pauses for a second, gasping for breath. then he turns and makes sure the door is locked. he sits down on the small ledge that passes for a bench and takes his purchase out of the bag. he looks at it wonderingly. he runs his hand over its surface. he checks the door one more time to be sure that it is locked. then he holds the dildo before his face and starts to lick it.) (cut to: the police car. drew is going at it full blast. he’s sucking the policeman’s cock like he can’t get enough. he holds the uncut tip in his mouth and pulls on it, stretching it out. then he lets it go and runs his tongue around the head, cleaning it off. he moans and moves further down the shaft, tasting the hard meat, until he starts to gag. he holds it there in his mouth, then tries to deep throat it. he gets another inch or two down his throat before he starts to choke again. he doesn’t think he can get it all, but he’s going to try.) (cut to: nick and the blond guy. having gotten the guy’s asshole all loose and wet with his spit, nick puts his cock up the guy’s butt. the guy takes it eagerly. nick holds onto the blond guy’s sides as he fucks him. the blond guy puts his forehead against the wall so he can hold himself up while he jerks on his dick with both hands.) (cut to: jeff. the dildo is too large to fit inside his mouth. all he can do is lick the sides of it. he worships it. he holds it in the air before him and kisses it. he licks the underside of the shaft, then rubs the dildo all over his face. unbuttoning his shirt, he rubs it over his chest. he draws the fat rubber head of the dildo across his chest, putting the piss-slit against the very tip of his left nipple. he holds it there while he undoes his pants and lets his erection out.) (cut to: justin and the dark-haired guy. justin in making frantic noises as he tries to unzip his pants, but his hands can’t seem to get coordinated enough to do it. the dark-haired guy sinks down, sits on the bench, and helps him out. justin’s cock sticks out now. the dark-haired guy stretches his legs out as far as he can in the small booth. one leg goes beneath justin’s dick. justin humps the guy’s leg while he goes back to sucking his cock.) (cut to: drew and the policeman. the policeman is getting close to coming. he watches drew trying to eat his whole cock. he is ready.) policeman: fuck! i think i’m gonna blow! drew: (desperately) please, sir! please come on my face, sir! please, sir! (cut to: nick and the blond guy. the blond guy is pushing back on nick’s cock now, wanting it more and more. nick doesn’t have to move. he stands there while the guy moves himself back and forth, jerking off nick’s dick with his asshole. nick’s hands go up to his tits. he takes a nipple in each hand and starts to twist them. he looks down at them and turns himself on by looking at his own tits.) (cut to: jeff. jeff has turned around. he has placed the dildo on the bench and is on the floor of the booth in front of it. with one hand he holds the base of the dildo down on the bench, while with his other hand he is jerking himself off. he is on his knees before it, licking up and down the sides of the oversize shaft. he starts to swing his head back and forth, so that the swaying shaft of the rubber cock bangs the sides of his head.) (cut to: drew and the policeman. the policeman takes his cock in his hands and starts to jerk himself off. drew holds his mouth open above the head of the cock expectantly.) drew: please, sir! let me have your cum, sir! please, sir! let me have it! (the policeman comes. it shoots up. some of it hits the side of drew’s head. some of it hits his cheek. some of it goes in his mouth. drew gasps in relief. he drops his mouth over the cock and devours the last drops that dribble out.) (cut to: nick and the blond guy. the blond guy jerks on his cock. when he comes, he tightens up on nick’s cock. nick moans and pinches his nipples extra hard. he shoots his load up the blond guy’s ass. he keeps twisting and turning his nipples until his balls are drained.) (cut to: jeff. stretching his mouth as far as he can, jeff just manages to get the entire head of the dildo in his mouth. he holds it there while he jerks himself off. the fat cockhead muffles his scream as he shoots.) (cut to: justin and the dark-haired guy. the dark-haired guy jerks himself off, holding the shaft up while justin keeps licking his balls. the hairs on the guy’s balls are totally soaked. also, justin’s precum has soaked the hair on the dark-haired guys leg and made it slick. justin humps the guy’s leg and comes, further soaking it with his creamy wetness. he howls. this turns the guy on so much that he immediately shoots. his cum sprays down onto the floor. he falls back, exhausted. a few seconds later, when he opens his eyes, he sees justin contentedly lapping the cum off the floor of the booth. fade out.) (scene: the convertible again. A little while later. medium shot. the police car is obviously gone. drew is sitting where the others last saw him. he is lying back, resting, his eyes hidden by sunglasses. on the radio: otis redding, “try a little tenderness.” drew is languidly singing along. after a minute, nick and justin walk up to the car and return to their former places. nick is cocky. justin is quiet.) nick: where’s jeff? drew: hmm? oh, don’t know. i think he went to look for you two. nick: well, here we are. where’s he? drew: i don’t know. and i don’t care. nick: (turning around to look suspiciously at drew) what’s with you, man? you’re awfully mellow all of a sudden. drew: (casually) nothing, man. i can tell you now though that i have absolutely zero interest in going to the beach. nick: me, neither. i just want him to get here so we can go back to the hotel. (at this point, jeff walks up. he is carrying a plastic bag that he places on the front seat right beside him.) nick: about time, man. we’re all ready to go back to out rooms. jeff: (easily) fine. (he starts the car. They drive for a moment in silence.) nick: where were you? jeff: (guarded) looking for you. nick: and doing a little shopping, i see. what’s in the bag? jeff: (nervously) nothing. nick: let me see, man. (he picks up the bag. jeff hits the brakes and the car screeches to a halt. he grabs for the bag, but nick quickly tosses it into the back seat. it lands in justin’s lap. before jeff can turn all the way around to get it back, justin reaches inside and pulls out the dildo. he looks at it.) justin: cool. is this for later, or can we eat it here? (nick and drew fall all over themselves howling with laughter. jeff slumps down in the front seat, mortified beyond belief. justin grins.) (blackout.) (end credits. music: james brown, “i feel good.”)

###

35 Gay Erotic Stories from Max sprouse

[name]

ideas are nothing outside the system within which they derive their identity from their opposition to other ideas. anika lemaire : jacques lacan - q: what’s your name? a: (pause) you know my name. q: this is just for the tape. a: (pause) you’re not going to use it, are you? q: if i write about it i’ll change your name. a: [name]. q: age? a: thirty-two. q: occupation? a:

1107

1107 knock knock knock. silence. knock knock knock. "what is it." "it's me. let me in." howie crawled out of bed and stumbled to the door. "what time is it, man." "i don't know. about one." "jesus, man. i've got to get up early tomorrow." "i do too." "what do you want." "can i stay here tonight." "what. you two fight

1108

1108 bang bang bang. "A. J.!" Bang, bang, bang. "A. J.”! Open up!" A. J.. opened the door to his room. The sound of wu-tang jumped out into the hall. "Bri, my man. What the fuck." "Give me that." Brian grabbed the beer out of A. J.'s hand as he stomped into the room. "What is your problem, dude." "Nick." "Shit, man. I don't want you

1109

1109 what the hell was that, kevin thought. i'm just getting back after looking for sex all night, and a.j.'s already done. i wonder what kind of trash bitch he found tonight. i don't know how he does it. he's not that good-looking. i'm better looking than he is. everybody says so. how come he gets all the action and i spend hours wandering the streets without so much

Alley

alley area. it was not a good neighborhood to be in. not if you were a nice person. about ten blocks away from downtown, it lay on both sides of a thoroughfare not known for high class. if you mentioned cabell street to someone, their first thought was of liquor stores and hookers. there were those. and on-their-way-to-derelict apartment

Ballad, Part 1

josh grew up in kansas. josh grew up gay in kansas and that meant that he grew up in his kansas, a kansas that he was different from the kansas seen by the people around him. as he grew up, he realized in what way his kansas was different. the people around him—he was sure—did not see the world and its inhabitants as he did. he believed they saw the guy who worked at the gas

Ballad, Part 2

kree . . . kree . . . kree . . . kree . . . josh heard the cricket chirping. it pulsed above the other noises. the steady low rush of the water. the occasional whisper of wind through the trees above him. josh couldn’t sleep. at first he blamed it on setting up his tent hurriedly. he should have searched out a different campsite. the ground was hard here. then he blamed it on

Bath

it burns. it burns my skin. how can water burn my skin? when i first turn on the water, it takes it about two minutes to get as hot as i know it can get. or as hot as i know i can bear. then i put the plug in. it takes another ten minutes for the bathtub to fill up to the level i need. enough time to figure out what music to play. usually i don’t take this kind of bath

Behavior

it’s one of those stories that starts and ends in the bar. it was a saturday night and i was being my usual raunchy self. the single life appeals to me and i have learned how to do it well. so i was working the bar like a horny gay man. this performance—as such it is—consisted of posing suggestively, walking boldly, and drinking madly. the intention was to portray a

Blowing Stupid Boys

bow down before the one you serve :nine inch nails ‘head like a hole’ * * oh, i always recognize temptation. i don’t always resist it but i always recognize it just before i leap off the cliff. i can tell that it’s temptation by an inconvenient voice in my mind that says ‘you know, max, this might not really be the best idea in the world’. it’s a voice i usually ignore. *

bouquet

helllllllloooooooooo :bobberrrrrrrrrrrrr? are you there? :whoooooooooo +yes cal im here +i wasnt sleeping :soory. i just got home +no problem :sorry :what time is it there :what time is it there :i didn’t want to call too late +no problem :were you asleep? +no, just resting :should i go +no +whats up? :nothing. just got home. told you id call so here iam +how was the

Brickport

“hey.” “hey.” “don’t get up.” “what time is it?” “about four.” “where have you been.” “brickport.” “brickport?” “yeah.” “oh . . . why?” “i went home with someone.” “oh.” “yeah . . . well.” “i see.” “go back to sleep.” “not yet . . . i was worried.” “i was o.k.” “i’m sure.” “hey.” “i know, i know.” “we said

Butt Fuck Nebraska

the letter gary walked in, sorting through the mail. “anything interesting?” “no. bill. bill. the ‘advocate’. junk. ‘you may already be a winner’ . . .” “i like to think so.” “a postcard from jim and tommy.” “bitches.” “the beach looks nice.” “tan bitches.” “oh, good. a letter from mom.” “b- . . . how nice.” “hey!” “she’s your mother but she’s my mother-in-law. she’s just

Dangerboy

six months ago it was early morning and some of the company were outside the station. we were sitting around drinking our coffee, watching the steam rise as we warmed our hands on the cups. the sun had made an appearance shortly before, the morning fog was evaporating, and nobody was doing much talking. still waking up. jim broke the silence. “anybody know anything

Dare

When I showed you his picture in the paper, and I told you that I had met him, you wanted to know the circumstances. I didn't want to go into it then, because it was in the early stages of our relationship, and I didn't know how you would take it. Besides, when I said that he had been a trick, you didn't look like you believed me. He wasn't exactly a trick. I don't know

fight club--the missing scenes

SCENE ONE (exterior, the house on paper street. it is raining.) (interior, jack’s room. the sound of water dripping into coffee tins, washbasins, etc., but we can see that they are all full and the water is simply running off onto the floor. jack—wearing a dirty grey t-shirt, boxer shorts, and army boots—is hunched beneath a blanket reading a magazine. suddenly, he jumps

jail tale

“what happened to theseus and pirithous in the end?” “that was the end—their last adventure was down to hades and they were caught, bound in invisible chains. theseus was rescued finally but he had to leave his friend behind. in the chain the love of comrades cannot take away.” tom stoppard: the invention of love i was in the wrong bar. i was looking down at the fat pink cock of

Life In The Forest

i was not in a good mood when i got home. as i loosened my tie, robbie came out of the kitchen. “what’s up, babe?” “urgh,” i grunted. he chuckled. “oh, did him have a bad day at work?” i grunted again as i flopped down in my chair. he came over and stood behind me. he began massaging my shoulders. “yes him did. him is all tired and grumpy.” having my shoulders rubbed felt

memory : the van

memory : the van where and when this happened to me, i don't want to be too specific about. let's just say it was some place in the south, before. i would like one of the guys involved to see this. when i was in college i didn't have a car. so when there was a concert i wanted to go to, i had to hitch. that wasn't much of a problem. if it was a popular concert,

metal

“how about you put a knife up my ass.” “i’d love to.” “no, i mean it.” | “that’s really sick.” “well, yes.” “and you could hurt yourself.” | “how about it.” “no, i told you.” | “how about now.” “what’s the matter with you.” | “you know what i’m thinking.” “no, what.” “about that knife.” “forget it.” | “i could do it myself, you know.” “what.” “the knife.” “jesus.”

mystery achievement

one i got the job because i was a gay man who knew how to keep his mouth shut. it’s a rarer quality in these days than some might think. that’s not the entire reason, but it’s a good place to start. the real beginning was with kevin. now, kevin did not show up at the bars all that much. i might see him there maybe once a month. but he always spoke to me, and i remembered him

Photograph

i have always had a thing for dark-eyed men. i don’t mean italians or greeks or the others with mediterranean blood. i mean the ones with dark circles around their eyes, or eyes that are slightly sunken in their faces. the ones who look like they haven’t been sleeping well. the ones who have a haunted mournful look. even the ones who look like they’ve been in a fight. black eyes

Real

i got off the chatroom because i’m not a fuckin’ whore, like those other guys. yeah, if your name is holepig, i’m talkin’ to you. yeah. right. if i stay in both friday and saturday night, it drives me crazy. i really only regretted friday night because that’s my dancing night. who was it? martha graham? “wherever a dancer stands ready, that spot is holy ground.” ----------- the

Spider's House

do you know how to get to spider’s house? xxxxxxxx i do. xxxxxxxx does that make me special? not really. a lot of guys know how to get there. but then a lot more guys have heard about it—and want to go, badly—and don’t know where it is. xxxxxxxx if you’re really pestering someone, they’ll eventually get tired of you and give you the directions. but they know that you’ll never

Stuff

“that’ll be $150 for two guys.” “fine.” “per hour.” “fine.” moving is such a bitch. you collect stuff. this lamp from your first apartment. this couch from your first lover. this bed from your third lover. these dishes, those cd’s. and it’s all important. when you move, you have to take it all with you. after a while i learned it was better not to bother

summer sun

i. by that august, i had been with doug for two years. not ‘with’ in the sense of living with him. but i had been his boy for two years. i had had one daddy before. but now i was with doug. ii. it was early august when he told me that we were going away for the weekend. so on friday afternoon i was packed and waiting for him when he drove up to my apartment building. we

the best years of our lives

he and i had been lovers for a while. i had left my first lover for him. there may have been some bad behavior on my part. my first lover was out of town and i had picked up the one who would be my next lover in a bar. we got it off and hit it off and started meeting on the sly. many lies and excuses for lateness to the first lover, of course, so that the new one and i could

the ghost of danny boyd

i open my eyes and look out into the dark of the bedroom. i don’t think i have been asleep. maybe i have been. i had been drifting, trying. as the few seconds pass i separate the blocks of black and grey, identifying them. those long lines are the curtains, that square is the chest, the silver whisper is the mirror. their blurred edges and indistinct borders blend the dark and

The Hold

i’m gonna quote a line like, like, from, from, uh, yeats i think it is, like from him, and that’s called the best lack all conviction while the best are filled, no, no, it’s the other way around, the best lack all conviction (laughs) and the worst are filled with a passion and intensity now you figure out where i am.” lou reed live—take no prisoners (1978) — my apartment was the

the quiet boy

“come here.” “what?” “come here.” “why?” “because i said so, you stupid fuck.” “oh.” “stand here.” “here?” “yes.” “ . . .” “ . . .” “now what?” “shut up.” “yes, sir.” “ . . . ” “ . . . ” “ . . . ” “ . . . ” “take off your pants.” “yes, sir.” he did. i got on my knees in front of him and began to suck his cock. it went from soft to hard right away. well, i’m a good

The Sound Of His Voice

one .. “you’re going to listen to me and do everything that i say.” his arms were stretched forward, palms flat against the wall on either side of my head. he leaned into me, emphasizing the words with his steady gaze. i kept looking into his eyes. .. maybe i should go back a bit. .. it had been a rough couple of months. i had been dating this one guy for a while—four dates,

this week

the complexity of the ngor mandalas mirrors the complexity of vajrayana ritual. the combination of the intricate image and the equally involved literary texts associated with the mandala, as for all vajrayana ritual, means that the task facing the devotee would be overwhelming without the direct involvement of the guru as a guide through these layers of religious worship. —robert e.

to...

my friend john lived in a village west of oxford. every year or so, when i made a trip to london to visit my publisher, i would tear myself away from the museums and the theaters—and the bars and the british men with their sweet and sexy accents—to visit him for a few days. after several weeks in the city, it was nice to get away and savor some quiet country life. and i did

Triangle

“does he HAVE to be a virgin?” i wondered. adam looked at me. “if he does, we’re shit out of luck here.” i scanned the bar. “this is a pretty tacky bunch,” i agreed. “monsters everywhere, and very few gods.” “i haven’t seen a god in here for ages.” “for that matter, i haven’t seen god himself in here for a long time either.” “i see god when i’m dancing.” “yeah, well. that’s

up against it 1999

“anything worth doing, is worth doing in public.” —joe orton: up against it (1967) (title and opening credits. music: the ad libs, “boy from new york city.) (scene: florida, summer.) (fade up to four young men in a convertible). nick: man, i can’t wait to get to the beach. jeff: yeah, it’s hot. drew: it’s too fuckin’ hot.

###

Web-04: vampire_2.0.3.07
_stories_story