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The Wager

by Pappa Jack


Hello, my name is Jeff Woods and I am a football addict.

As another super bowl game approaches, my thoughts turn to “the wager.” Who will I bet with; which team will I select as my team; what will the wager be? The answer to the first part is easy, Chris Waters, my long time friend and business partner. Question two was another simple choice for me, The Colts. Being a Saints fan, I could not bring myself to bet on the Bears. The final question was all that needed to be decided.

Chris and I met at college orientation back in 1984 at the University of Alabama. Over the years in college and our love for hunting, our casual relationship developed into a tight friendship. Hunting trips to my daddy’s dear camp brought us together with the idea of opening a sporting goods store that was geared to the hunter called “Woods and Waters.” We even served as the best man in each other’s weddings. Yes we are married to beautiful women. Through all the years of our friendship, we have never had the desire to have homosexual sex together. I have looked, at times even touched in a roughhousing way, but never have we had sex.

Both of us are typical rugged looking individuals 6’2”; over 200 pounds. OK-OK 225 for me. Chris goes to a gym and works out on a regular basis and he has developed a tight firm hard body that I am envious of. In deer season we have full beards and off-season I keep a goatee. In general I would say that we are your average country boys. Our wives are not concerned about our being gone most of the winter, as long as we leave them with credit cards to go shopping with. The system works for all of us.

Both of us turned 40 this year and things are going great at this point in our lives. The store is successful enough that we can slip away from the crazy world of business and family to enjoy our hunting lodge on 75 acres of private hunting land about 30 miles out of town. That is where we drink a few beers and watch the game. There is always a wager that is egged on all day long in a spirited, friendly rivalry. Every year we come up with something wilder than the last for the loser to have to do.

Friday, January 26, 2007, one week before the super bowl, we have agreed on the following daring wager:

1. Both of us will buy a new jock strap and decorate it with our team’s name. 2. We are to ware only the jock strap as we watch the game and during the game can deposit any bodily fluid that we desire to that said jock strap. 3. For every point that a team scores, the other person must lick the pouch of the scoring team’s jock and say “Colts/Bears suck” Chris took the Bears and I was loyal to my Colts. 4. The losing player must remove his shameful jock and replace it with the winning player’s jock and wear it for the number of days (without washing it) equal to the difference in the score. 5. The losing player must have the jock signed by a different person as proof that they saw him with it on.

As the game started out with a kick-off return for a Bear touchdown, I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Yet, there was a full game ahead. Never give up, I thought as I got down between Chris' legs and started licking his jock while stating "Colts suck"

The game continued back and forth with a great competive nature. Beer after beer was being downed by both of us during the first half. At the half, I had to piss and stepped outside on the porch and started to piss without pulling my jock down. Chris was amazed and said that it did not mean shit to him because the Colts were not going to score again. He copied my action and pissed in his jock as well. Knowing that the next team to score one of us were going to be licking a piss soaked jock of you buddies. To tell you the truth, my level of agression and sexual excitement was at an all time high.

When the game was over, I ended up as the victor. Chris just set there in disbelief. I began to coach him to "take the fucking jock off, friend, take it off." He shock his head as he stood and took of the piss soaked jock. I gave him mine with the colt logo on the band.

Chris said, "I have no problem with puttin your nasty wet strap on, but to have to wear the colts logo for a week is a pain in the ass."

"A week? Shit man you have to wear that damn thing for 12 fucking days." I stated. "Oh and don't forget to get it signed by a different person every day."

Chris is a good sport and has never reniged on a bet. I know that he will hate every second of this challenge, but that he will do as he is ordered.

I checked with him on Monday to make sure that he had his Winning Jock in place. He did and had already gotten his Monday signature.

"How the hell did you get someone to sign that so soon?" I questioned at 8:00am

"I went to the truck stop on I20 at 6am and found a colts fan who was happy to sign my strap.

This is going to be a load of fun. And to add the icing to the cake, Chris is going to stink by the end of the first week. He has 11 more days to go. Rank!

Stop in Woods and Water in Tuscaloosa next time you’re in town. Chris will be the one that you can smell a mile away.

Jeff

Jacksong1944@yahoo.com

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