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What's Your Sign?

by Mouthy One


ASK CO-WORKERS WHICH YOU HATE WHAT THEIR SIGN IS--AND THEN, REMEMBER THE FOLLOWING...ENJOY HOROSCOPES by Adam Sandler Aquarius (Jan 23-Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk. Pisces (Feb 23- Mar 22) You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick. Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit. Taurus (April 23- May 22) You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist. Gemini (May 23- June 22) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest. Cancer (June 23- July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer. Leo (July 23-Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex. Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps. Libra (Sept 23- Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease. Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered. Sagittarius (Nov 23- Dec 22) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of shit. Capricorn (Dec 23- Jan 22) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

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6 Gay Erotic Stories from Mouthy One

Cute One Liners

That's a nice pair of pants - Anyway I can talk you out of them? Your lips are like wine. I want to drink them! Excuse me is that a space suit you're wearing, because your ass is out of this world. Do you believe in love at first sight?...Or do I have to walk by again? Do you sleep on your stomach?...No?....Can I? Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz, I can

Not Too Straight Advice...

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings--they did it by killing all those who opposed them. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. Eagles

Oral Sex--An Ode To Love

Penis breath, a lover's dread... Is what you get when you give head... Unpleasant as it tends to be... Be greateful that he doesn't pee. It's times like this, you wonder why... You bothered reaching for his fly... But it's too late, can't be a tease... Accept the fact, get on your knees. You know you've

Possible National Condom Week Slogans

1. Cover your stump before U hump. 2. Before U attack 'er, wrap yer wacker! 3. Don't be silly, protect yer willy. 4. When in doubt, shroud yer spout. 5. Don't be a loner, cover yer boner. 6. You can't go wrong if U shield yer dong. 7. If yer not goin' to sack it, go home and whack it! 8. If U think he's spunky, cover

Top Ten Men On My List

1. The Doctore--because he says, "Take off your clothes". 2. The Dentist--because he says, "open Wide". 3. The Hairdresser--because he says, "Do you want it teasted or blown?" 4. The Milkman--because he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?" 5. The Interior Decorator--because he says, "Once you have it all in--you'll just love it!" 6.

What's Your Sign?

ASK CO-WORKERS WHICH YOU HATE WHAT THEIR SIGN IS--AND THEN, REMEMBER THE FOLLOWING...ENJOY HOROSCOPES by Adam Sandler Aquarius (Jan 23-Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk. Pisces (Feb 23- Mar 22)

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