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The Alphabet Lovers: Intro

by JohnPaul


My name is John Paul Batista. I am a 35-year-old photojournalist for a large publishing company that specializes in travel, leisure and exploration magazines. My assignments are worldwide – one week I might be hiking through the French countryside and the next I might be riding a camel in the Tunisian desert. I get paid (pretty handsomely I might add) to be a globetrotter; how cool is that? After fifteen years as a photojournalist, I’ve had countless adventures – I’ve seen a lot of remarkable things and met a lot of fascinating people. I’m fluent in five languages and can get by on the basics with a few others.

There is a downside to this job, however. I have no place to call home. I have a condo in D.C. with no furniture except a bed and a few unpacked moving boxes. Besides, there’s no one to come home to. I had a boyfriend once – Adam – but he grew tired of the extremely long-distance relationship. Who could blame him?

Since Adam broke up with me, I haven’t even attempted to get into a serious relationship. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve had more than my fair share of one-night stands and even a few “long-term” hook-ups. I’m not necessarily proud of my sluttish ways, but I won’t apologize for satisfying my healthy sexual appetite. I’m weak when it comes to good-looking men and I’ve had no problems attracting them.

With a former Brazilian model for a mother and sex symbol Anglo-American actor as a father, I have pretty good genes. I’ve been told that I have an “exotic” look. In America, I guess that means a look unlike anything you’d find in a J. Crew catalog – and you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who looks like me in there. Someone with my sandy-blond wavy hair, hazel eyes, caramel-colored skin and chiseled features might be more easily found in a Calvin Klein ad – if they were slumming that is. I’ve also been told that I’m modest to the point of being self-deprecating. I don’t think I’m ugly, I just don’t put as much importance or faith in my looks as everyone else seems to.

Most of the time, I travel with Jake. He’s by far the best staff writer we have, so it only made sense that he would work with the best photographer. Jake’s a pretty good-looking guy and has also had his fair share of sexual escapades. He’s painfully straight, but he’s always eager to learn about different cultures--even that of gay men. I guess that’s what makes him so great at what he does.

As a result, we often trade stories about whom we fucked the night before. During one such session, he showed me a journal that he keeps with the names of the women he’s been with, a brief description of each along with a rating of their sexual prowess. It was crass, I know, but his descriptions were always amusing and his rating system was usually comically subjective. We were sitting outside a café in London one day when he was jotting down some details on the previous night’s victim, Kylie.

“What’s the rating on this one?” I asked.

“I’m giving her a 9 for technique, but she only gets a 4 for originality.”

“So she was excellent at being derivative, right?”

“Yeah! Mind if I use that?”

“No, not at all,” I answered with a chuckle. “But, don’t you think you’re being a little unfair? It’s hard to find something original when you’ve done just about everything with just about everyone.”

“Not everything,” he said teasingly, throwing a wink my way. “Besides, you have some nerve! I’ve seen you dragging a different guy away from the bar every night this week!”

“Yeah, well at least I don’t write their names down in a book.”

“Maybe you should…at least the good ones. That way, you’ll remember to look them up the next time you’re in their town.”

At first, I laughed at the absurdity of his suggestion, but later that night, after a dismal night at the bar, I found myself doing exactly that. I only wrote down the names of the guys who popped into my head right away. I figured everybody else was too mediocre to remember. When I finished the list, I noticed a strange pattern: there were exactly 26 names and each one started with a different letter of the alphabet.

“That’s pretty wild!” Jake said when I showed him the list. “This is a cool concept for a book, ya know?”

“Yeah right,” I replied, snatching the list from his hand.

“No, dude, seriously. You should write a book about these guys. I’ll even help you if you want. It’ll be great! I can see it now, America’s next bestseller, ‘The Alphabet Lovers.’ Sounds like a Harlequin Romance, doesn’t it?”

I can always count on Jake coming up with some outrageous ideas and most of the time he thought of things just to be silly. But he was dead serious about this one – and bursting with enthusiasm. His zealousness must have been contagious, because by the time I finished my cup of coffee we were hashing out the details for the first chapter. We worked late into the night, forgetting about satisfying our libidos for the moment. And so began the weaving of the tale of the “Alphabet Lovers.”

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The Alphabet Lovers: Intro

My name is John Paul Batista. I am a 35-year-old photojournalist for a large publishing company that specializes in travel, leisure and exploration magazines. My assignments are worldwide – one week I might be hiking through the French countryside and the next I might be riding a camel in the Tunisian desert. I get paid (pretty handsomely I might add) to be a globetrotter; how cool is that? After

The Alphabet Lovers: Adam

I met Adam in college, in the days when I was still experimenting with my sexuality. I was a sophomore – fairly social, mildly popular and loved to party. He was a senior and the big man on campus; smart, athletic, funny, rich and oh so HOT! Just shy of six feet tall with 175 pounds of finely toned muscle, Adam was a 100%-certified, blond-haired, green-eyed All-American frat boy. Everybody

The Alphabet Lovers: Basil

Standing in front of the Parthenon, it became apparent how little justice photographs would do for the mighty structure. Even as it lay in ruins, merely a shell of its former stature, I could only marvel at its magnitude and the genius of the ancient people who built it. “This is pointless,” I bemoaned. “How can you capture magnificence in a single frame?” Jake rolled his eyes and scribbled

The Alphabet Lovers: Colin

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The Alphabet Lovers: Dylan

I was in Daytona Beach for a story on Bike Week. Being a big motorcycle enthusiast myself, it was the perfect assignment. I was hanging out at one of the bars on Main Street, having a laugh and knocking back a few drinks with some new biker friends. Five Kamikazes later, I was about to call it a night when the bartender handed me another drink and a slip of paper. “They’re from the guy in

The Alphabet Lovers: Elliott

“Larry!! Why are you bringing in another damn intern?” Larry Marshall, the firm’s senior photography editor, leaned back in his ergonomic, mesh desk chair and sighed. “You know we’re short-staffed, Batista. Or haven’t you noticed how many assignments you’ve had to take the last few months?” “Yeah, okay, so maybe it’s been a bit hectic, but I love it. I need to stay in business and I don’t

The Alphabet Lovers: Fernando

You’d think that a world-traveling photographer wouldn’t have anywhere to go for vacation. But I spend so much time living life through a lens that I find little time to truly experience the places I visit. I keep a journal of some of my favorite places so that I can visit them later when I have more time to explore. One such place is Seville. I’d heard about a festival that they hold in April

The Alphabet Lovers: Gunnar

“It’s just a little further,” Gunnar shouted as he continued scaling the steep rock face behind me. Henrik was already a few yards in front and had almost reached the summit. Twin brothers, Henrik and Gunnar Bergstròm were expedition leaders for hire. They came highly recommended by the tourism board for their vast knowledge of the Finnmark region. The tourism board didn’t mention anything,

The Alphabet Lovers: Henrik

In the last episode of “Alphabet Lovers,” our oversexed hero was visiting the Scandinavian paradise of Norway; his journey through the beautiful region of Finnmark was led by twin brothers, Gunnar and Henrik Bergstrom. After one particular expedition, Henrik realized the half-Brazilian wasn’t designed to handle the cold Norwegian weather and suggested he take a warming break in the sauna. While

The Alphabet Lovers: Ivan

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The Alphabet Lovers: Jake

If you’ve been following the series, you’ve seen Jake’s name pop up every now and then, providing some chaos and comedy to my mundane life. I’ve been unfair in my portrayal of Jake. I’ve trivialized him as a secondary sideman when in fact he’s much more that. I’ve reduced him to a shallow, one-dimensional character when actually he’s a very deep and complex person. What can I tell you about

The Alphabet Lovers: Koji

A good friend, Mya, once told me about this resort she’d discovered in Japan. Some of the World’s wealthiest and most famous had been known to frequent the spa because of its secluded location in the lush countryside of Kyushu. It was also priced for wealthy and famous, but she said the price was worth it for the massage alone. They used some kind of new age; pressure-point aromatherapy that

The Alphabet Lovers: Liam

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The Alphabet Lovers: Malcolm

“20 to 19, Johnny boy,” Malcolm taunted. “1 more point and you lose…again!” He dribbled the ball and threw me a smug grin. He knew how much I hated being called John or Johnny -- it was part of his ploy to break my concentration. He loved to talk trash to get me all riled up. But after all those years, I was used to it. I don’t know why he bothered anyway; he could beat me without

The Alphabet Lovers: Nicolo

If you’ve been following the story – and I certainly hope you have – you may be wondering, “What happened to Elliott?” It may seem that we hooked up a few times and then I moved on, but that’s not true. You see, the downside of writing about my lovers in alphabetical order is that the continuity of the story gets all messed up. For the most part, it doesn’t matter who I fucked first. But for

The Alphabet Lovers: Omari

“JP, I think this camel hates me,” Jake griped. “The camel does NOT hate you, Jake,” I argued. “I’m serious. Look at the way it’s looking at me with those beady little eyes.” “You’re being ridiculous.” He was silent for the first time in an hour and I thought I’d heard the last of Jake’s bellyaching. This whole desert trek was his idea yet he was the one complaining incessantly about

The Alphabet Lovers: Philipe

Philipe dipped the strawberry into the melted chocolate sauce then offered it to my watering mouth. I bit into the large, juicy berry and savored the intoxicating flavors of sweet fruit and bitter chocolate. A drop of juice ran down the side of my mouth and onto my chin. I reached up to wipe it off. “Non, laissez-moi,” Philipe demanded. I moved my hand and let him lick the sweet nectar

The Alphabet Lovers: Quinn

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The Alphabet Lovers: Reese

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The Alphabet Lovers: Seth

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The Alphabet Lovers: Thai

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The Alphabet Lovers: Ulrich

What a gorgeous specimen!! I’d never delighted in something so magnificent and breathtaking in all my life. As I ran my hands over that steel-hard body, I could feel the power lying beneath and it made me hard thinking about how incredible the ride was going to be. But I was getting ahead of myself. It isn’t every day that one is in the presence of such beauty; every minute should be drawn

The Alphabet Lovers: Victor

One of the many perks of my promotion is that it allowed me more time to do things that I had neglected over the years, like unpacking the boxes in my condo, hanging out with old high school and college buddies, and spending time with my parents. I love my parents very much and it always bothered me that I only got to see them a couple weeks out of the year, so I decided to spend my first

The Alphabet Lovers: Virgil

I was sitting in my office poring over the layout for next month’s magazine when Adam strolled in. Even though I reported directly to him, it was rare for him to show up in my office. It was good to see him, though. After he’d started dating Michael, I never saw him outside of work; and before my promotion, I saw him in the office once a month, at most. I missed his friendship. I missed

The Alphabet Lovers: Wyatt

Goddamn phone!! Why is the ringer so loud? My head is killing me! Oooh, I think I’m going to be sick! I shouldn’t have had that sixth tequila shot. Will someone answer the fucking phone? I clawed my way from beneath the warmth and safety of the blanket and looked at the clock. It was hard to see through the haze of my hangover, but I was pretty sure the fuzzy blue numbers said 3:06.

The Alphabet Lovers: X

“Heya, Mr. B!” Reese rolled his mail cart into my office. He was looking as cute as ever. It would have been nice to have another go at him, but we had had our moment and that was that. We’d decided to be friends and coworkers and nothing more – and I was content with that. That didn’t mean I couldn’t stare and dream, though. “Good morning, Reese,” I said, returning my attention to the

The Alphabet Lovers: Yuri

“Tell me why we’re here again,” I asked Jake over the roar of the crowd. “To get an interview with him,” he said, pointing to the guy in the number 39 jersey. “But we work for a travel and adventure magazine, not Sports Illustrated.” “I’m doing a favor for a friend.” “Okay, so what am I doing here?” Jake took his eye off the game long enough to shoot me a befuddled expression.

The Alphabet Lovers: Zach

Can you believe that in close to 15 years working for an exploration and travel magazine, after having traveled all over the world, going wherever the four winds would take me, I never once went to Hawaii? I’d heard about it, read about, and even seen some excellent pictures of it, but I’d never had the opportunity to experience the “Aloha State” personally or professionally. So, when it came

The Alphabet Lovers:.Epilogue

“This is the last one,” I said, holding up the 26th and final consent form from one of my Alphabet Lovers. Jake looked up from his newspaper. “Who is it?” “Liam,” I said. “Ah, the rock star. I wonder why it took him so long to reply.” “I dunno...maybe he was worried about how his current boyfriend would react.” “Hmm, maybe. This is number six for him right?” I shrugged.

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