Gay Erotic Stories

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Cute One Liners

by Mouthy One


That's a nice pair of pants - Anyway I can talk you out of them? Your lips are like wine. I want to drink them! Excuse me is that a space suit you're wearing, because your ass is out of this world. Do you believe in love at first sight?...Or do I have to walk by again? Do you sleep on your stomach?...No?....Can I? Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz, I can easily see myself in your pants. Tomorrow morning, do you want me to call you or nudge you? Your parents must be baker's cuz they sure put out a great set of buns. Your parents must be thieves, cuz someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. Do you have a quarter? I promised I would call my mother as soon as I fell in love. Do you have some Australian in you? Would you like a little Italian in you? Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours? Would you like to go home for a pizza and some sex?....*slap*...What? you don't like pizza? Your legs must be tired, cuz you've been running through my mind all night. That shirt is very becoming on you, of course if I were that shirt I would be cumming on you too. If I told you I liked your body would you hold it against me?, Please! I heard milk was good for your body, but damn-you must drink gallons at a time. Hi, my name is Jacques. Don't forget, because you'll be screaming it later tonight. Excuse me, but could you give me directions? To where? Your heart... Come over here and sit on my lap and-we can talk about the first thing that pops up. Excuse me sir,, is that suit felt? Would you like it to be? The voices in my head say you should go out with me! Hey, is it hot in here, or is it just you?. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together. (Gesture for person to come over) I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest of my body. Person A: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Person B: No Person A: Well then, please start. If I follow you home, will you keep me? Have you ever been licked until tears rolled from your eyes? Pardon me, but may I attempt to seduce you? Lick finger, and rub it on the clothing of the person, then rub it on yours. Just a light touch will do. "So, what do you say we get out of these wet clothes..." (hold up first two fingers on one hand) Know why you should use these two fingers to masturbate? No, why? Because they're mine. A walks up to B and gently pulls up their collar and looks at the tag in their shirt* *a humph and long pause, then A walks away* B: What the hell? What was that? etc... A: Oh... I was just checking to see if it said "Made in Heaven." I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...What say we tie up for the night? A: Did it hurt? B: What ?!?!?!?!? A: When you fell from the sky as an angel

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6 Gay Erotic Stories from Mouthy One

Cute One Liners

That's a nice pair of pants - Anyway I can talk you out of them? Your lips are like wine. I want to drink them! Excuse me is that a space suit you're wearing, because your ass is out of this world. Do you believe in love at first sight?...Or do I have to walk by again? Do you sleep on your stomach?...No?....Can I? Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz, I can

Not Too Straight Advice...

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings--they did it by killing all those who opposed them. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. Eagles

Oral Sex--An Ode To Love

Penis breath, a lover's dread... Is what you get when you give head... Unpleasant as it tends to be... Be greateful that he doesn't pee. It's times like this, you wonder why... You bothered reaching for his fly... But it's too late, can't be a tease... Accept the fact, get on your knees. You know you've

Possible National Condom Week Slogans

1. Cover your stump before U hump. 2. Before U attack 'er, wrap yer wacker! 3. Don't be silly, protect yer willy. 4. When in doubt, shroud yer spout. 5. Don't be a loner, cover yer boner. 6. You can't go wrong if U shield yer dong. 7. If yer not goin' to sack it, go home and whack it! 8. If U think he's spunky, cover

Top Ten Men On My List

1. The Doctore--because he says, "Take off your clothes". 2. The Dentist--because he says, "open Wide". 3. The Hairdresser--because he says, "Do you want it teasted or blown?" 4. The Milkman--because he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?" 5. The Interior Decorator--because he says, "Once you have it all in--you'll just love it!" 6.

What's Your Sign?

ASK CO-WORKERS WHICH YOU HATE WHAT THEIR SIGN IS--AND THEN, REMEMBER THE FOLLOWING...ENJOY HOROSCOPES by Adam Sandler Aquarius (Jan 23-Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk. Pisces (Feb 23- Mar 22)

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