Gay Erotic Stories

A reading from the Book of Email, the third chapter, 5th verse (Email 3:5): In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And Satan said, "Sheuuu, it don't get no better than this!" And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. And God Said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit trees yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood." And God said, "I will make Man in my image, after my likeness, and let him have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the animals of Earth, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female created he them. And God looked upon Man and Woman, and saw that they were lean and fit; and it was good. And Satan said, "I know how I can get back in this game." And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald's, Wendy's and Burger King; which brought unto the Earth the 1/2 pound double cheeseburger and Wendy's brought forth the triple bacon cheeseburger and burger King brought forth the double cheese Whopper. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that dawg?" And Man said, "ize 'em Prince of Darkness." And Man gained 15 pounds. And so God created the healthy food called yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair, and fruit such as cherries and berries and grapes to go inside the yogurt. And Satan saw this and said, "Let me hook this up proper". And Satan made chocolate covered and maraschino cherries and candied berries and jellies and jams filled with sugar and preservatives. And Satan brought forth Baskin/Robbins and Swenson's and Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 15 pounds. And so God said "OK, listen up ... try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought forth Edy's and Dairy Queen. And Woman gained 10 pounds more. And so God said, “Satan is all this all necessary? And Satan said, "What's wrong big Daddy, can't hang?" And so God said, "Look you weak beings, I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them. Eat better." And so Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak, fried pork chops and gravy, lasagna, ham, bacon, souse and many other pork related products. There was so much swine that he invented the all-you-can-eat buffet. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the heavens. And so God created Chuck Taylor's and Pro Keds, and the great Phil Nike was born. Running shoes were brought forth and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And he created Sports Authority and the fitness clubs were brought forth. And Satan said, "Oh, I gots this." So Satan brought forth the cable TV and satellite dishes with a remote control, so Man would not have to toil to change 347 channels, 102 of which are sports. And Man gained another 20 pounds. And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And the devil said, "Like Nebraska over East Tennessee State,.big Daddy." And so God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And the devil said, "Catch these vapors Almighty Creator!" and Satan peeled off the healthful skin, and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in thick, gooey, fat infested cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery. And Satan created HMO's.