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The Grand Obsession

by Don bellew


The Grand Obsession ... don bellew

It goes like this: He looks okay, not too damn defensive or nervous. He keeps watching your eyes, trying to tell if he reads you right. He’s not sure. You look right at his crotch, again, smile. Now he’s certain and he either grins or he gets the fuck away from you fast as he can. If he takes off then you keep looking, right? So he grins or he laughs … he’s a little flattered. A little amused … but he tries to keep the grin under control. He doesn’t want to give it away. If he hasn’t had much experience at this then he’s embarrassed but he’ll try and hide it. If he’s done it several times before then he’ll be relaxed, in control. Either way, he’s not gonna make the offer, himself … not unless he’s a pro or he’s desperate for money (read: an addict) in which case you’ll get the hell away from him fast as you can. Pros are high risk, not worth the price; addicts are lousy at sex. You're looking for the adventurous, the bored, or the “ready to try it” new guy.

Doesn’t matter where you cruise, but the more men the better the chances, right? And cruising around a low income, blue collar neighborhood raises your odds. Skip the gay joints, the local tea rooms and the highway rest stops … too many fags. You got nothing against fags, just don’t want to date them and you don’t want to come off like "one of the boys”. You cruise the sidewalks, the malls, the convenience stores, the food marts … the city parks, the employment office parking lot … industrial neighborhoods, supported housing, cheap apartment complexes, dingy beer joints and run down pool halls. IT depends on your taste in men, mine runs to white trash. Don’t overlook video stores and game arcades. Ignore the kids, there’s always a few overgrown guys still hanging out, stuck at adolescent entertainment. They make great targets.

You get out of your car because it acts as a barrier. You feel vulnerable but it works better, increases your odds. Cruising from a car will get you the pros and the addicts. You drift around, fit in the background best you can, watch the faces. You don’t look weird, okay? If you look out of place you'll set off alarms so dress for the set. Nice jeans, a white dress shirt, good boots and leather jacket; upscale the look but stay in the class. And the cologne? Just don't, ever, okay?

It happens almost before you know it … some guy, generally not one that looks anything special … his eyes touch and hang just a second, a micro second… Watch closely but keep it low profile. Do NOT gross him out with a leering stare, okay? Show the same tentative interest he shows you. Move closer, slowly. Do his eyes come back to you? Is he aware of you? Men need attention, acknowledgement, and admiration. You’re looking for the guy that needs it a lot. Skip over the loud, extrovert, showy charmers. They get enough. Search for the quiet, thoughtful guy with an interior life going on. If he stares back at your gaze then avoid him. Trouble there; too needy or repressed hostility, either way, trouble.

His age? Well, younger than you, right? I thought so. Under twenty five is hard ground to work. The really straight ones are often too scared, too insecure to experiment. At that age they're still trying to convince themselves they're a man. They have a herd instinct; if they experiment it's going to be with a peer, not an older guy. Twenty-five to thirty? Good area, just old enough to be bold ... young enough to be a beginner. I like the beginners. Above thirty five? Well, he's not likely to be a first timer no matter what he tells you. Rare to find a guy above thirty who's brave enough but hasn't yet tried it.

You finally identify an acceptable target. He’s slender because his personal image is juvenile, boyish. He doesn’t really see himself as ready for manhood and the required responsibilities. He seems a little inept, a little low on confidence but he’s not quivering in shame and self pity, either. He’s not great looking but he’s cute, quite acceptable! Go up a level.

You get close enough to make the casual comment. Anything from, “Did you see that?” to “You ever tried these barbeque corn curls?” If you can do sincerity without a falter then go for the old, “Didn’t you use to work at Burger-Barn?” or "Didn’t you go to Jefferson High? I know your face, been trying to remember where I’ve seen you."

The thing is, it doesn’t matter much. You’re just opening a line of communication. You’re offering a hook. It’s up to him to bite. Lead him easy, gently. If he's the right one then he's flattered just by getting attention from an older man. He craves male acceptance, male bonding. Too much effort and you look like one of the desperate ones. Don’t smile too much, don’t stare, and don’t touch him. Don’t stand too close. Not yet. If he’s the catch of the day then the rest is easy. Just finding him is the main chore. So you found him, now you’re talking to him … desultory conversation, non-meaningful chit chat. Here comes the easy part.

It goes like this: He looks okay, not too damn defensive or nervous. He keeps watching your eyes, trying to tell if he reads you right. He’s not sure. You look right at his crotch, again, smile. Now he’s certain and he grins. He tries to hold back the grin but the corners of his mouth twitch. His eyes shift quickly. He’s flattered and amused, intrigued. If he’s here alone then it’s target acquired, zero in. “Let me buy you a beer …” (or a coke, or a coffee, whatever), a reason to extent the contact … substitute any line as needed … but best if it involves you as host, the payer, the authority figure, the daddy. Set the role, see if he plays along. We’ll say this one does for the sake of the essay.

A table, the bar … a corner of a counter, a booth … any place still public but semi-private: open the relationship…. Ask about him … ask for his status, background, name, anything… just show interest in him. Let him talk if he will. If he’s reluctant, talk about yourself. Build intimacy, trust. A slight arm touch or mild leg contact is now appropriate. This will confirm the reality of the situation to him. He IS being hit-on, he shouldn’t doubt it, shouldn’t be allowed to deny it in his imagination. Go slow, no intimate reference or ass grabbing, no slobbering lust, okay? You allow surface rationalization, especially if you’re in a public place. But your interest in him is primarily sexual. His interest in you is your interest in him. He’ll be calculating already. He’s wondering if he can get it up for you, wondering what you want him to do for you, he’ll be wondering if he can make a financial profit from this. His biggest concern is, “Do you think he’s gay or what?” He might mention a girlfriend, an interest in sports or some other macho area … give him what he needs, say the right thing … “You look like a married guy …” or “I figured you for a jock, you look like one” or “I’m surprised some woman hasn’t already dragged you to the altar, you look like wedding bait!” He needs that, an assurance of his maleness. Skip it and pay the price later. Give him any indication you see him as “less” than male and he’s got to prove you wrong. Pay up front. He’s a man, tell him. “Wish I was tall as you …” or “Damn, you've got thick shoulders …” or “You lift weights, don’t you?” … admiration is the process that leads you to the next level … It’s now or never, go for it or move on to a new target.

Two methods to the next level, direct or indirect. Choose wisely. If he’s not too damn nervous and he seems pretty open, go for the direct: “I’d sure like to get a taste of your dick!” is about as direct as you can go. "Man, I'd like to rent your body for an hour" or the more subtle, "I'll bet you're hung like a bull." Play it as it seems appropriate … funny or serious. Then go right to the negotiations and make the arrangements. Indirect is more chancy, “We ought to get together and party sometimes, have a few drinks … get crazy …” It’s necessary if the guy is nervous and clings to denial but it prolongs the real, allows for miscommunications … See how he takes to the idea and move it to the present tense if you can … “Let’s go to my place and hang out, kick off our shoes … do a joint?” But if the indirect seems best accept that your target may take some time to come across with the goodies. He needs the attention but fears the sex. Are you ready to wait? Want to turn it into a slow seduction? Is he worth it?

I go for the direct pitch even if it’s a little questionable because I hate to waste time. If it runs him off then I keep looking. Say he laughs, acts cool or otherwise stays by you … Negotiations will naturally follow … “I was thinking fifty bucks?” Opens the terms. He might go higher if he’s not comfortable or if he needs the additional motivation. A quick “Okay, sure.” means you found a good one! He might have gone for free but you would have lost the role of “man in charge” and I like to keep that.

He’ll be nervous about going to your place, offer supportive treatment. “Hey, I’ll bring you back or drop you off where ever you want …” helps. Give him specifics, he’ll be wondering. “Nobody else there, we’ll have complete privacy … It’s just a ten minute drive … I live alone” … try and imagine what will comfort him, help him relax.

Once inside he’ll relax, anyway. Inside, private, alone … it all works to reassure him. Close any curtains or blinds, lock the door … all the signals of privacy, nobody will ever know. Low lights, quiet music? A drink? Time to look around himself, get his bearings, locate the bathroom, etc… Unless he seems very affectionate or willing, touch only below the waist at this point. A hand on his thigh is a nice transition, a signal to get ready, no surprise attack … easy move to his crotch, undemanding … gentle…. Gauge his level of readiness … more touch or the zipper? Whatever he needs. He may open his pants, himself … a signal to hurry up and do it!! Or he may lay back and let you control the situation (much more likely) … don’t go too damn slow, okay? Just telegraph the next move, give him a second to slow you down if it goes too fast, don’t panic if he seems reluctant but move on, slow… try again, it’s okay. As long as he sits still, keep going even if he shows nervous… He’ll relax more when his pants are down. Before his dick comes out is the tense time … He’s worried about what you’ll think of it. Tell him, “Damn, it’s bigger than I thought … God, it’s so hard! Man, a really thick one, huh?” Whatever flattery he’s likely to believe… It’s no cost to you, so give. Make him feel good. That's what he needs. Be generous with praise and adoration, he craves it. Feed his ego and his passion will grow... hold back and his confidence will wither.

Once you get it in your hands he’ll be okay … he’ll be more turned on than he expected, more than you expected. Get your mouth down there fast, take that submissive posture and give him some great feelings. Now he’ll relax the defenses, open himself to the sensations, sigh in relief. It’s better than he thought. It’s okay … it’s pretty damn good!

If this really is his first time (as he said) then he wont last long, not at all. I’ve measured more than one first blow job in under ten seconds! No use trying to make it last, they can’t. Better to tell them you’re impressed with the quick results, else they think they’re a disappointment. Just enjoy that surge of passion; it’ll last longer next time.

If the guy is feeling confident and relaxed then he might just get into it, ride a while, sail on the wave… great! In that case the groping and caresses will increase and he'll search for increased stimulation (my kind of guy!) including squeezing your shoulders, massaging your neck, holding your head, feeling your hair …. In this case you slow the blow job, make it last and get into some lingering play … this is good stuff, work it! Get his pants off, if possible, his shirt up … off? Nipple play, bites? Gentle. If he allows free access to his chest try for the neck, the shoulders … his face is the final frontier. He’ll feel most vulnerable about a touch on his cheek or a kiss on his face. Never, never kiss his mouth unless he offers it. Many guys will stop cold at that, slam a mental door and it’s over, Bam! Don’t go that far without provocation, okay? If he let’s you move your lips close to his mouth, good … If he lets your lips slide across his, excellent … If he allows that touch to linger then, Yes, go for it. Some perfectly straight guys love kissing, it’s a natural high for them … don’t miss out on it from lack of exploration, he wont tell you, okay? Discover by slow steps.

Once a straight man is in this mode of extended sexual pleasure, riding the crest of sensations, this is when he will experiment with his limits. If his hand strays to your thigh give him access to your dick … he may want to touch it, feel of it, at least … he may even want to fondle it, enjoy the texture and the sensation of it … Doesn’t mean he’s gay, just means he’s brave and not afraid of his role limits. If he plays with your ass he may want to fuck you … not necessarily, but give the opportunity if you want it to happen … and if he allows you to squeeze his ass, caress the hard cheeks? Explore the crevasse between; see if he wants anal stimulation … he just might. Again, don’t think this makes him gay and a total slut, he may be fighting his inner voices to let it go this far or he might be discovering new sensations, reveling in new and exciting tensions … at this point it’s important to allow him that freedom, allow him to discover and map new territories. Back off only when he lets you know it’s gone far enough … I’ve had a finger deep inside a guy before he finally squirmed and whispered harshly, “Hell, No!” But it didn’t spoil the mood; we went on until we both made it, anyway. Yeah, WE made it. Even straight guys should be considerate enough to allow you a climax, too. First timers might cringe at the sight of you spurting off but not all of ’em. I knew one guy that got WAY turned off by touching cum but he didn’t mind seeing it, not at all. Let him tell you how far he’ll go, don’t set his limits for him, okay?

I’ve actually fucked several straight guys, they just got into it and enjoyed it … one of them told me it was the only way he could get off with another man … Nothing else got him hot enough. He had no problem with getting off with a woman but a man didn’t really turn him on unless he gave him that ultimate stimulation. But, Hey, Jess was weird in a lot of ways.

Straight men suck your cock? Yep. It happens, man. Few want to eat your cum but plenty of straight guys do the oral thing, yeah. One man made me cum in his mouth but he spewed it out through pursed lips onto my belly and laughed about it. He said, “I tried, man… I tried! Just couldn’t swallow it!” He was pretty special, yes he was! A very straight man that was perfectly willing to please me anyway he could. A golden guy. But he loved women SO much, a real weakness for them. He told me once he wished he was gay so he wouldn’t have to let women run over him. He knew he had that weakness and it bothered him … too bad he wasn’t gay. Hell, he tried. Give him credit for trying. Anyway, I think Ronald just liked sex, any kind, anywhere. Probably a true pan-sexual creature.

But straighter guys than Ronald have sucked my dick. I don’t even think of it as anything special, anymore. Some do it because I press for it, others (the best) just because they want to do it, to please me or to please themselves. If a man is naturally oral then he’s likely gonna do it (is he messy? Creative? Into music? Food? Does he smoke? Suck on a beer all the time? Love tits?) … if he’s anal then he has other priorities ( is he obsessively neat? Concerned with order? Math? Keeps his car clean and shiny? Loves a woman‘s legs?)… not all guys are focused on their genitals for their stimulation. You’ll discover the wide range of human activities doesn’t divide easily along gender identification lines.

But by whatever route you take it ends up with both of you panting for air. It was good, very good! Your release was moving, powerful. Your lungs quiver, your belly sighs. For a few minutes while you both regain strength you share the weakness, the pleasurable sense of completion. Share, connect, bond ... however tenuous.

Thing is, to make sex good for you, you make it great for him. You’re giving, okay? Sure, you’re taking something, too … fond memories and a new connection, but to make the most of that you gotta give him a lot of pleasure. Especially if it’s really his first time with a guy. He’ll need all the positive reinforcement you can dredge up. Remember, there’s something else going on, here… something beyond the simple joinery of bodies … that’s just the physical metaphor for the deeper psychic need we (me and you) have inside… it’s that inner need that sends us out scouting for the next straight guy to hold and touch … we need to erase the line, dissolve that boundary, make him over in our own image, right? Why do you think the straight guy is so fucking attractive to us, anyway? Because we want to BE him, know him, touch him, commune with him, side with him, team up with him, share his magic power … right? Duh. And we want to own him, use him, manipulate him, manage his power, and over come that little cosmic fear we have: his rejection.

It all started with daddy, you remember? Or some daddy like figure … we wanted to make him stop being mad… wanted to make him smile and laugh and play with us … we wanted his approval and attention, we wanted to please him …. Sure we did. Work through the denial, we did. Now, whether we accomplished that goal or not (likely not) we still go on spinning the machine, gunning the engine of our trained response. Find a substitute “us” and reverse the roles (gives us the power, right?) and go through the set piece. Act out the psychodrama …dance through all the carefully learned steps … repeat the ritual. But then, how many other obsessions deliver such pleasure?

It goes like this: find the target. Acquire the target. Assign the roles, act the play. Take your bows.

“So, uh … can you run me back downtown? I got some stuff to do …” He ties his shoe laces.

“Sure. Wish you didn’t have to rush off, though …”

“Yeah, but I got this, like, thing … you know? Gotta run.”

“I understand. Yeah. But it was great … can I call you sometime?”

“Well, uh … let me call you, okay? I can’t give you my home number.”

“But will you? Call me?”

“Sure, sometime. You said fifty bucks, right? Remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” (Sigh) “Here you go.”

“Thanks, man!” He kisses the folded bill. “I really needed this, you know?”

“I know what I needed … you were really great …”

“Look, I gotta go, okay?”

It goes like this, most every time. Still, better than nothing. Nothing is like, uh, dead? For a few minutes there, I was alive. Felt alive, anyway. Or, felt like I would feel if I was alive. Driving him back feels shitty though.

.................................... jackertoo@aol.com


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35 Gay Erotic Stories from Don bellew

Adventurous Marine

Adventurous Marine ... don bellew My cousin, James, he was a rounder. He was always chasing after some married woman or getting picked up for drunk and disorderly, some kind of trouble. He was a few years older than me and we never were close or nothing, just politely acknowledged our family connection and not that out in public. I guess I was an embarrassment to him, me being the butt of so

Anybody's Brother, Everybody's Son

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As Sailors Sleep

As sailors sleep Bunk beds make strange sailboats yet I float and scut before the draft of your breath. As you lie sleeping, I hover above. Your watcher, your guardian spirit pinned in your sky. You sleep as if my weight were nothing, air about you granted worship. Fine striped blue ticking and tiny downy barbs are my cheek's lover not the tendoned tan hands I watch in repose,

Baby Blue Boxer Shorts

by Donnie D Bellew Something about Rayburn just seemed soft; he wasn’t sissy by any means, but he had that quality of easing past objections and ignoring jibes, you know? Like he didn’t really need disagreements--they made him nervous. He smiled a lot. He was easy company, anyway, and I usually paired off with him when the boss handed out job orders. If you got to work with a man all day then

Clear Cut

One thing I liked about Ralph, he never wore any underwear. His personality sure wasn’t star quality, he was no conversationalist at all but the sight of his heavy meat swinging loose inside thin blue cotton work pants kept me working near him day after day. He was one of those guys who seem completely comfortable with the world, you know? Never complained, never grumbled, just went about his

Cowboy Love

David was half way through his steak dinner, thinking it was likely the best food he’d had in a month, when he noticed the two cowboys at the next table. He was so entranced with the tender and savory meal he’d not even noticed them come in. They were not much older than him but they had the look of experienced wranglers. Kind of similar, both slim and browned from the sun, both faces deeply

Fake It Till You Make It

What? Twenty bucks?… just to see my dick? You shitting me?” “Here it is. I got it right here.” He watched the bill wave slowly. “Nawh, man. I can’t do it. Let me cut your grass or something. I gotta get some money, I owe this guy and he‘s pressing me, you know?” “Look at the yard. I cut the grass yesterday, Fred.” “Ain’t you got nothing else I can do?” I just grinned. “Yeah, I

Kitt and Cameron

donnie d bellew First day on the job and Kitt knew he wasn’t going to make it. When he signed up for the apprentice program he was only thinking about the money. Brick layers made more money than god! What he didn’t think about was the macho bullshit he’d have to put up with. Sure, he knew construction workers were gonna be homophobic and rude. He just didn’t realize how intimidating it

Marvin & Lonnie, Part 1

Lonnie knew Marvin was gay the first time he went into the yard next door to talk. He told the guy right off he was straight. They understood the lay-out. Lonnie must have known Marvin would eventually try something and Marvin had to know Lonnie would protest, right? Lonnie liked going over there. Marvin had a big screen and cable, the computer with internet access, the well stocked

Marvin & Lonnie, Part 2

Marvin came out of the hot shower even more depressed than before. He put on his flannel robe and decided to send Lonnie home. He just wanted to sleep off the headache. “Hey, I can’t take the noise, man. Cut it off, okay? I got to lie back down, my head is splitting!” Lonnie didn’t turn it off but he hit the mute. “Dallas just got a first down!” He announced. “I made you some coffee, it’s

Model 4

Model 4 ... donnie d bellew Jimmy is a fireman in Walker County, the next county west from Birmingham. Born and raised in a small town, did two years at a state junior college. History major and a Civil War buff. He’s twenty eight, married seven years, two kids. He’s six foot, one, a hundred and eighty three pounds of lean, lanky country boy. He told me on the phone he didn’t have a long

More or Less ... Part 1

At first Robert was reluctant to work for me. He always had another job when I called. I kept trying to hire him for a couple of reasons. First, he was the only man in our neighborhood that did lawn work on a full time basis, and you couldn’t depend on the high school boys to do a good job or to show up when they promised. But the main reason I wanted him doing my yard was because he looked so

More or Less ... Part 2

I shaved, dressed and put five twenties in an envelope. I drove to his house and pulled in behind his truck. His mother was a tiny woman, with a very put upon expression, a whiner. “He’s asleep! He’s out all night runnin' around with that rough crowd. I can’t do nothin’with him! You need him to work?” “No mam, that’s okay. Just give him this. I didn’t have the money for him the last couple of

Motel Six Morning

counted coup It's a Motel 6 morning in Bullnose Montana. Don't know what today is but the rodeo's over, the Greyhound has gone. I got two twenty dollars still stuffed in my sock from a contracting job that's all done. Don't know if my sore butt was prize for my bull ride or a gift from the plowboy still asleep in my bed. And there's just enough whiskey waiting there in the

Playing Around

I could never figure out why my sister married that idiot, Clark; nobody else could, either. She was a lot like me, quiet and shy in social situations. Clark was all-star linebacker. Opposites attract, right? He was the swaggering macho jock and she was the sweet, lady-like girl all the cheerleaders laughed about. But he wanted to marry her and she did it--against my advice, of course. Jenny

Red Neckin'

“See that boat up in the slew? Ain’t that Toby Martin?” Bobby Joe leaned out over the rail of the bridge, pointed. “Yeah, that’s him, cum sucking little faggot!” Earl spit a wad of brown juice into the river below. “Let’s go fuck with him … you can bet he’s got a cooler full of beer. He always does.” Bobby nudged Earl with an elbow. “Shit. I can’t stand that sissy! He don’t like me,

Reluctant Charlie, Part 1

My all time favorite reluctant lover was Charlie. He was a macho type but not too harsh; just butch enough to get my attention and cute enough to hold it. He was a body and fender man at an auto shop on my mail route. He was temporarily staying at his dad’s house just a couple of blocks from the garage. He was thirty five when we met, an ex-army special forces, parachute jumper, lean and mean

Reluctant Charlie, Part 2

I followed him to the kitchen. He set the bottle on the counter with a loud rattle, almost empty, hand not quite steady. “Get the beer … I’m gonna … uh,” he unsnapped his jeans and shoved them down, “gonna show youse da devil…” He turned half away, pushed his jockeys down off one side of his ass. “See?” he looked over his shoulder, awkward and silly. “Where?” I brought the beers over beside

Silent Life

I’m afraid this ain’t much of a story. It happened too fast, too sudden to develop a long story. I was staying up late one night, with my Uncle Matt. We’d watched the late movie and it was after midnight, the rest of the house was real quiet, everybody asleep. When he hit the remote, shut down the TV, the room went dark, no lamp on … Uncle Matt just kept sitting there. Hey, I was in no

Some Like It Cool

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Split Seams

“Hi, Craig. How’s it hanging?” “I’m cool.” He shrugged, shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned back on the gate to watch me wash the truck. I went on with my chore. Craig wasn’t the kind of guy to expect me to stop for him. He lived down the street and dropped by most anytime of day. We weren’t even good friends, just casual neighbors with nobody else around to talk to, hang out with.

Stonegate Ledgers 1

I think the year was twenty-five, I know the month was June with summer quickly burning off the downy spring. Dates grow encrusted and obscure but I hold clear a vision of saturated days, long and fever hot. I was at an interim of life, a milestone mark I wouldn’t soon erase. I’d never been away from home, the fall and college cast a looming shade. I clenched to this, my last toy summer, with the

Stonegate Ledgers 2

When I pulled up to the next spot, Ryan was standing by his upright post and taking a leak with his back turned towards me. I let the truck roll forward, squeaked to a halt just past him. When I got out, in front, he didn’t turn away. “Did you see the storm coming?” I pointed back down the road and he turned his head in that direction. “Aye, been watching ‘em. They moving slow.”

Straight Roommate, Part 1

We had a small yard but the temperature was in the high nineties and the humidity was thick enough to float a steel ball six feet off the ground so Warren was sweating like Niagara Falls. He made the last pass and pushed the mower up by the steps, peeled off his tee shirt and climbed up on the deck with a massive sigh. “You should have let me help. I told you it was too hot …” He waved his

Straight Roommate, Part 2

By late Saturday afternoon I was completely burnt out in Rich’s household accessories. Sometimes shopping just isn’t enough? I also picked up a couple of phone numbers, a clerk and a guy in the parking lot who looked really butch but friendly? So I called it a good day and went home. Warren was asleep on the couch while Wild Kingdom featured the life cycle of a green moth, fascinating stuff.

Straight to a Point

donnie d bellew ........ Tommy stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel just as he heard the front door open and quickly slam shut. “John? That you?” He called. “Well, yeah. Who else would it be, man?” His room mate came into the hall and stripped his tee shirt over his head. “It’s that kid next door, Kevin? He’s been over here twice already since I got home. He wants you to

The Album

With three trunks and several cardboard boxes full of papers, books and junk all smelling of whisky, mildew and pipe tobacco, it’s no surprise that it took me a month to discover the album. Uncle Harold had carefully packed up everything Granddad kept in his room and shipped it to me. I was his sole heir. Uncle Harold wasn’t really my uncle, just a long time resident in Granddad’s house.

The Baptist

I noticed him down at the end of the bar. He glanced up at me but didn’t smile so I didn’t try to talk to him right away. Still, we were both sailors, the only uniforms left in the place. Wouldn’t seem too odd if I spoke to him, would it? It was getting late and I guessed Tod wasn’t coming back. Several patrons seemed to leave at the same time and I looked around, wondered what time the place

The Far Edge of Friendship

I don’t generally announce my sexual tastes to just anybody I meet. I try and keep my private life private. Macall was just inquisitive as hell, though. He started in as soon as we began working together and wouldn’t quit. I kept avoiding his leading questions about who I dated and why I wasn’t married, etc. I actually told him it was none of his business, but that didn’t seem to make much of an

The Grand Obsession

The Grand Obsession ... don bellew It goes like this: He looks okay, not too damn defensive or nervous. He keeps watching your eyes, trying to tell if he reads you right. He’s not sure. You look right at his crotch, again, smile. Now he’s certain and he either grins or he gets the fuck away from you fast as he can. If he takes off then you keep looking, right? So he grins or he laughs … he’s a

Tiger Club Prank

When two guys from the Tiger Club sat down beside him in the library, Darren immediately began gathering up his books and notes. Common instinct for self preservation told him these guys had no good intensions towards him or anybody else. The Tiger Club was the top of campus hierarchy and nerds were down in the nether regions, dregs of the college social order. Darren very carefully avoided

Too Drunk To Go Home

When the poker game broke up Wallace was still sitting there, leaned over his fists. I thought he was about to cry or something. "He's wrecked, drunk as a skunk!" Somebody muttered. "That damn scotch, he was okay with the beer. Never should have started with the scotch ..." "Don't let him try and drive home, Donnie ... make him sleep it off." He roused up about the time everybody

Weak In The Knees

Weak in the knees ........... don bellew It had been cloudy all day, a dull silver sky that was growing dark in late afternoon. July it usually stayed light until nine but here it was only six-thirty and I was yawning. Too quiet, I guess. Quiet was the very reason I’d moved out to the country when I retired. I wanted to get out of the city and away from the sight of constant people.

Working Stiff

I was staying late one evening at the office, just hanging around to use our great system to surf the net. My home PC is okay, just slow. The boss is cool. He knows what I’m up to. I don’t get paid by the hour so he doesn’t care how long I stay. He actually benefits because I answer the phones and take messages until I leave, maybe eight o’clock on a good net night. When the crew of janitors

Writer's Camp

Writer’s Camp ... by Donnie D Bellew He wasn’t spectacular. Not even pretty, just an average face with an interesting ... uh, aura? persona? How do you label it? He was on the large size, not his hips but his long bones. He’d need a double x large sweater just to cover his wrists. Belt too high, shirt too plain for him to be gay. He didn’t have the look, either. Maybe that’s what drew my

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