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Silent Life
by Don bellew
I was staying up late one night, with my Uncle Matt. We’d watched the late movie and it was after midnight, the rest of the house was real quiet, everybody asleep. When he hit the remote, shut down the TV, the room went dark, no lamp on …
Uncle Matt just kept sitting there. Hey, I was in no hurry to go off to my bed alone, not while I was here with Matt. He was my hero, I guess. Anyway, I always felt closer to him than anybody else. We were just sitting there in our drawers, a warm summer night. So I figured he was about to get up or maybe doze off.
We’d been quiet a while. About the time it started to feel silly, just sitting there? Uncle Matt put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a tug. I let him pull me over to his chest. A good night hug, right? Only … it felt different. He laid his face on my hair and his hand slid across my naked chest. It was a really affectionate touch, gentle and nice. Not like Uncle Matt to get sentimental. I was leaning so far over I had to grab his thigh to keep myself from sliding into his lap. Then his other hand covered mine, pulled it back into his crotch and pressed it against his warm hard-on.
I kinda jumped, I guess. It shocked me. I thought he was kidding around but he held my hand there when I tried to pull away. I got pretty tense. I couldn’t think what I was supposed to do … nothing like this had ever happened before and I was more confused than anything. I didn’t even get turned on because I was scared, uncomfortable. Anyway, I couldn’t jerk my hand back because this was Uncle Matt, right? It might hurt his feelings, piss him off … I didn’t know what he wanted me to do. I just sat there, kinda stupid, huh?
So he rubbed my hand over the lump under his drawers. I let him. I’d never touched another guy’s dick and it felt real weird. Queer, I guess. I didn’t think guys were supposed to do shit like this. Anybody else but Uncle Matt and I’d have jumped up and took off, right? But I trusted him; I figured he knew better than me what was okay and what was not okay. Maybe it was okay because we was so close, you know? Not like he was some stranger trying to molest me … he was just Uncle Matt and this was just like a hug but a little more. I didn’t hug other guys, either.
It was only okay with Uncle Matt. So he kept moving my hand until I moved it myself. Just the flat of my palm sliding along the smooth lump across his thigh. When his hand eased off mine he reached over into my lap and found my dick. Okay, I was hard by then. Something about the smooth motion of rubbing his dick, it felt like jerking off, right? So I’m getting a little turned on in spite of the fact I still felt creepy. I wanted to ask him what the hell we was doing but it was so quiet … it was like being wrapped in cotton or something, silent and dark, too dark to see. I could hear him breathing. I could hear my own breath, even my heartbeat. My pulse rate was really thumping, pounding in my ears like the surf at the beach. The muscles along my legs got all tight and I wanted to stand up but I was afraid they wouldn’t hold me.
Uncle Matt didn’t tease my boner, he squeezed it in his fist and then he was pulling at my waistband, peeling my shorts down over my hip… I let him. I rose up and let him slide them down to my knees and he grabbed my cock, bare skin to bare palm, and he beat it like he meant to get me off. I felt around, found the fly of his shorts and stuck a finger inside, touched hot, moist skin and the crisp tangle of his hairy bush. He pushed me up, slid his shorts down and kicked them off, tugged at mine until they fell to the floor and I shook them off my feet. Still, he didn’t say a word, just pulled me back to the couch and his hands slid all over my body, touching me everywhere, sliding, massaging, probing, gliding … I felt like I could float to the ceiling! His hands lit up stars inside my eyelids, sent my pulse rate so high it was like jungle drums pounding inside my head. And I could touch him; it no sooner dawned on me than I did.
I used my hands to explore him, soak up his strength, feel his massive and masculine magic. It was pretty wonderful, I gotta tell you. I’d never thought about touching anybody like that, all over, all their secret places, their forbidden places. I cupped his hairy balls, slid my fingers down his ass crack, shoved my nose into his arm pit, tasted of his nipples, and licked the salty flavor of his neck.
His breath was loud, now, harsh and labored. His grip on me grew rough, demanding. He clasped his hands behind my neck and pulled me to his face and his tongue invaded my mouth, teeth nibbled at my lips, his cheek flattened to mine and he squeezed my belly against his until I could feel his rippling need, his shaking passion. He lifted me then … in the dark room I felt as if I could float … he laid me back on the couch and his face went to my belly to kiss my navel and when his mouth found my cock I squirmed, pulled, tried to break away but he held me down. I thought I was doing okay, thought I could handle the touching and the kissing. It felt wrong but it felt good, too. But this, this was never okay … this was the bad stuff, the queer stuff, sure ’nuff …
Uncle Matt was just getting carried away, he’d regret this, he’d hate me for letting him do this …I’d feel terrible every time I thought about it… I’d never be the same after this, I’d be different, and everybody would know … I had to stop him… I couldn’t stop him. He was big, strong, heavy … and he was determined. The struggle didn’t last long … I gave up, let him take the responsibility… he was doing this, not me… I tried to go off into a safe place inside my head but I couldn’t … this was too intense, too immediate… god, it was incredible. I’d never had sex with anyone. I’d never done anything beyond jerking off and dreaming.
This was a whole new level of feelings, overwhelming and awesome. I couldn’t relax; I kept squirming, pushing against his mouth, aching for the release that would stop the crazy sensations that were zipping around my head, my body. My legs curled up, over his shoulders, trying to get closer, trying to penetrate his mouth deeper … my thighs tightened on his head, my hands found his face and I felt my cock sliding against the inside of his cheek, I filled my fists with his smooth hair … but he was trying to raise his head, shaking my hands loose, shrugging off my legs … He climbed up over me, straddled my chest and his wet cock head bumped my lips … no, no, no … I chanted it inside my brain but my mouth opened and his cock slid in and I was closing my lips around him, feeling his swollen flesh fill my throat, tasting his dripping flavor. I can’t, I can’t … my brain screamed, but I shoved up, let his cock in so deep I gagged, tried to get my lips all the way down to his hairy nest …
He pulled back, I lifted my head, grabbed his hips and pulled… I wanted to get it all inside me, swallow him completely… but he pulled out even while I tried to hold on, to gulp him deeper… he pulled back and grunted, a sustained muffled groan like he was dying, and then his hot jism splattered my chest, my chin … and he was sliding back down my body, finding my cock, burying it in his mouth, sucking me with tender frenzy and his fingers crawled under me, touched my ass hole, pressed, invaded, triggered my explosive release. I should have tried to pull out … should have but I didn’t… he didn’t try and avoid it … he sucked it all up, swallowed my spurting juice and I lay panting, melting, deflated … there was a cool smear of his jizz on my lower lip, I licked it off. Okay. Not so bad. Next time I could take it, let him do it inside my mouth, too. Next time.
He climbed off me, then and I listened to his bare feet pad off to the bathroom. By his sounds, I traced his passage, from the bathroom he went to his bedroom and I heard the soft click of his door shut. I got up, then, washed off and went to bed. I thought I’d lay long time thinking about it, reliving it. It was the most exciting, adventurous thing ever happened to me. I had the feeling my life was bigger, it was gigantic! Possibilities I never even knew existed now seemed suddenly achievable. I grew huge inside my smiling and content little brain. My life, I thought, begins now.
Next day Uncle Matt acted like nothing ever happened. I watched him, looked for a clue, a sign we were somehow joined in a secret conspiracy. He never looked at me direct, he seemed distracted, quiet. He left the house before lunch and when he came home late in the afternoon I overheard him telling my dad he’d joined the Navy. He should have told me first. I was hurt, a little angry.
At supper, he told us how he had about a week before he’d have to go for his examination … he was going to visit his mom, my grandmother, before he left. He drove off that night after dark and I never saw him again. I wrote letters he never answered, if he got them. I like to think he never got them.
He married a woman in California and he stayed there when he got out. My grandma went to visit, brought back pictures of his family; he had a son named after me. Thanks Matt, wherever you are now. I hope I see you again, someday, just to hug you, to touch you one more time. I hope you read this, sometime … and know I always loved you more than life itself.
All my best hopes and wishes to you, from your once in a lifetime boy.
............ jackertoo@aol.com ...........
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