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Strip Poker at a Lake Cabin (Part 1)

by Anonymous


My name’s Rob and my wife (Cindy) and her best friend (Barbara) were going out of town over Memorial Day weekend to have a 10th high school reunion with their girlfriends. That was going to leave me all alone at the house over the long weekend. “Bull shit” I thought and opted not to stay “home alone” for the weekend. I rented out a secluded lake cabin about 2 hours upstate from our house. I requested a cabin at the remotest part of the lake. As an afterthought, I decided to ask Barbara’s husband Lance to join me even though I knew that the cabin only had one bed. I called Lance up and asked him if he didn’t have plans if he’d like to join me. His answer was “hell yes”. He was also pissed that he was going to have to spend the weekend alone. I conveniently forgot to tell him that the cabin only had one double bed. The Friday before Memorial Day finally arrived and I took off at noon to load up the Explorer and the boat. I made sure that I had packed everything essential: food, ice, fishing poles, lures, and several cases of iced down beer. I also stashed away a quart of Jack Daniels, just in case. Cindy and I hopped into the Explorer around 2:00 p.m. and headed over to Lance and Barbara’s to pick them up for the ride to the airport. The Explorer was so jammed with crap that we had to put Barbara’s suitcase and Lance’s big gym bag in the back of the boat for the ride to the airport. We rushed like hell to get the girls to the airport for a 3:30 p.m. flight and basically threw them, and their luggage, out at the curb. I said that we wanted to get to the lake before dark, especially with the weather reports that we were hearing on the radio. A cold front was moving in rapidly and the temperatures were supposed to drop dramatically. Great, what a lousy fishing weekend this was going to be. At least I had packed long johns and had brought along a heavy coat. I secretly hoped that Lance had forgotten his. But finally we were on our way. The wives had my cell phone number in case they had problems with their flight. I’d had numerous opportunities to meet socially with Lance but we had never been alone, just the two of us, other than fixing things around each other’s houses when we needed help and going out to dinner in a pack with our wives. Seeing him so infrequently had made me forget what a beautiful hunk he was. Lance was every man and woman’s dream. He was 6’2”, 210 lbs., blond hair, blue eyes, hardly any body hair at all, golden tanned and built like a brick shithouse. My wife told me that Lance worked out about 5 times a week and it showed. What an Adonis! He had chiseled features and supposedly he had done some underwear modeling for a minor retail chain but was too stacked in the crotch to be photographed acceptably, but that was only a rumor that my wife had heard. She didn’t like to pry. Bitch. I would love to know the truth about Lance’s crotch. This dude was muscles on muscles though. After we left the airport and headed up the interstate towards the cabin, I asked Lance if he would like a beer. “Hell yes” was his response. I told him to reach into the cooler in the back seat and grab one out for each of us. We made small talk the entire way there and drank numerous beers on the way. Lance was actually a great guy with a perverse sense of humor. He was quite amusing on the way to the cabin. I really liked the guy. I also noticed that the guy could drink like a fish and not show any signs of inebriation. I was a little tipsy after three beers, but he sounded and looked great after four. We got to the lake and drove up to the check-in area. I was in luck that Lance didn’t go in with me. I had thought up a lie about the one bed and didn’t want him to screw things up for me. I was also in luck that the most remote cabin on the lake was mine for the taking. It was a mile away from any other cabin and also had its own boat dock. I climbed back in the car and told Lance that I had good news and bad news. The good news was that we had a remote cabin with its own boat dock. The bad news was that it was the only one left and that it only had one double bed. “You mean that we’re going to have to sleep in the same bed, asshole” he questioned. I said no, if he’d brought his sleeping bag. Since he hadn’t he just grimaced and reluctantly said “OK, but don’t get any ideas cowboy” and started laughing out loud. I laughed also and told him he could only be so lucky. We both laughed at that one. I hoped that I hadn’t laughed too hard at our jokes. We headed to the boat ramp to set the boat out. Since we had both lake maps and road maps, I told Lance to take the Explorer to the cabin and that I’d meet him there after I had tied the boat up at the dock. Damn, it was getting cold. We both said so at once. The sky was dark and the wind was beginning to blow. I got into the boat, Lance lowered the boat into the lake and I untied the boat from the Explorer. He waved from the window of the car and drove up the boat ramp towards the cabin. I backed the boat up and headed out over the lake towards the dock. The entire time I was thinking what a hunk Lance was and how horny I was. Damn, I would love to sink my dick into that tight ass of his. I was imagining what that tight, muscled, hairless ass of his must feel like. I was the complete opposite of Lance. I was about 5’8”, 170 lbs., black hair, dark brown eyes, but fairly light skinned. A little hairy for my own liking but at least I didn’t have hair growing all over my back. I too worked out but not as much as Lance, and that showed also. I had decent muscles, but not bulgers like Lance. Also, I wasn’t as stacked in the dick department as he supposedly was. I had a 4” cut soft prick that grew to a little less than 7” when I got hard. Decent sized balls, a little too hairy for my liking, and a medium thickness to my dick. I’m not bad on the eyes either, but I’m no GQ model like Lance could be. I was a lot smaller than Lance in stature also. I was also fucking horny. I decided on the boat ride to the dock that I had to see Lance naked at least once this weekend and then jack-off the rest of my life thinking about his naked body. I set a plan into motion in my head. I got to the boat dock and tied the boat up to the dock. The wind was howling at this point and the temperature had dropped about 25 degrees in the past two hours. The wind chill was now around 40 degrees and dropping. I made my way up the hill to the cabin. It was a couple of hundred yards to the cabin. When I got to the top of the hill, I saw Lance unpacking the Explorer. I yelled for him to throw me a beer, which he did. I slurped it hungrily and then helped Lance bring the rest of the groceries and luggage into the cabin. It wasn’t the prettiest place I’d ever seen but it was functional. There was no central heat, so the only heat we would have would be the fireplace. It was around 500 square feet, including kitchen, breakfast nook, bedroom and bathroom. I told him to go out and get some logs and start a fire while I put away our feed for the weekend, sans fish. He agreed. I fried us up some hamburgers, opened up a bag of chips and we drank beer and ate like hogs. After we’d cleaned up the dishes I asked Lance if he’d like to play a little poker and lose a little money. (I just happened to bring a deck of cards and some poker chips.) He said “hell yes”. We decided on quarter poker. After almost two hours and many beers later, I had taken $100.00 off of Lance. God, he sucked at poker. Maybe, just bad luck, but part of it was just shitty card playing. After he lost the last $10 of his hundred, he said that he couldn’t lose any more money or Barbara would kill him. What a pussy. I mocked him, called him a chicken shit and flapped my arms about like a hen. That really pissed him off. So, I said, “how about this, we play strip poker?” He looked at me real funny and got ready to tell me to “eat shit and die”. But before he could utter his words, I reached into the cupboard, pulled out the bottle of Jack Daniels, and said that each time we lost we’d take off an article of clothing and drink a small shot of bourbon. Then, when the loser was completely naked, they’d have to run down to the lake buck-assed naked, in only their shoes, and bring back up a handful of mud from the lake. Lance looked at me funny, thought about it for a long time, and then said, “Game, asshole”. My plan was working. We each counted our clothing, no cheating you know. Each of us had 8 pieces of clothing, including shoes. We each took an oath not to cheat, especially since we were drinking heavily and had to take frequent piss breaks. We each took turns shuffling and dealing. The only game we played was five-card draw. That way, the other party didn’t know what you were holding. You could only draw 4 cards if you were holding an ace. The game progressed and I was down to my underwear, drunk as a skunk. The tables had turned in Lance’s favor. All of a sudden he was getting great hands and my hands were sucking. All he had lost were his shoes, his coat and his shirt. He still had on both of his socks, his warm up pants and underwear. Damn he looked great. On top of that, he appeared to be stone cold sober. I was plowed. The wind was absolutely howling at this point and the temperature was around 30 degrees, with a wind chill of around zero. I asked Lance, given the weather, if he’d like to call off the bet. He said “hell no”. That was that. I lost the next hand and was the official loser of the game. It was now time for me to shed my underwear (Tommies) and run to the lake. Boy was I was embarrassed. He supposedly had this huge dick and there I was with one that was only average. I turned beet red after I lost the hand and looked at Lance sheepishly. He said “get out of those Tommies, put on your shoes and run your naked, lily-white ass down to the lake and bring me back some mud”. I got up, looked him straight in the eye, and dropped my drawers. Thank God I was mucho horny and my dick was at a better than average soft length, just the right length you have before you start stiffening up and getting a hard-on. I walked over, naked as a jay-bird and proud as a peacock (I was loaded), to where I’d cast off my shoes, bent over to show Lance my hairy ass and proceeded to put on my boots. He was laughing hysterically, telling me to “get my ugly, hairy ass and little dick and balls out the door and down to the lake”. He had insulted my manhood. He could talk about my hairy ass, but not about my dick and balls. I was mad. I laced up my shoes, shook my dick and balls at him (he laughed hysterically again) and opened up the door of the cabin. God, it was cold. The wind was frigid cold. Thank God no one would see me run bare-assed down to the lake. As I headed down to the lake, Lance got a flashlight and shined it on my white ass as I ran towards the hill down to the lake. He started wolf whistling at me also. I turned around, flipped him off and ran down the hill. When I got to the lake I was freezing. I reached down and got a handful of mud and with a splat, put a handprint of mud on my chest. I began running back up the hill. When I got to the top of the hill, Lance was standing at the door, looking hot as shit, shining a flashlight onto my naked body. Thank God I work out, I thought. I looked down and saw that Lance was shining the flashlight on my privates. Sad story. Given the shrinkage from the cold and the exertion from having run to and from the lake, my dick was miniscule. My balls had shriveled up to nothing, peanuts, at best. I was a sad looking case. I ran back towards the cabin with the flashlight on my privates, listening to Lance laugh at me the entire trip. I ran into the cabin and slammed the door shut. Lance said “did your dick drop off of you before or after you got to the lake?” I looked down and realized that my dick was a shriveled one-inch turtle head and that my balls were tiny. I looked like a newborn baby with hair. I turned absolutely crimson in color. My entire body was crimson. He laughed like he was a stand up comedian. Lance looked at me again, laughed his head off some more, and told me to get my blue (yes, I was cold) ass over to the fire and warm up. I stood next to the fire, shivering, and Lance brought me a shot of bourbon to shoot. I shot the bourbon and stood still for a second and let the warmth of the bourbon run through me. I thought about Lance and my dick began to stir. After a couple of minutes next to the fire, I was ready to seduce the son of a bitch. He had gone back to the kitchen table and I turned around, showed him my now regular 4” soft dick, and told him I was ready to play some more cards. He told me that I had “already lost the fucking game, shrimp dick”. Again, I was mocked about my manhood, but that much more willing to proceed with my plan to seduce him. I said “sit your hilarious ass down and let’s play some cards.” “I’ll make a bet with you, if I win, you continue stripping your clothes off until you have to run down to the lake.” “If I lose, I’ll kiss your bare ass. So there, take it or leave it, you pussy.” The pussy part got to him. I could see him get a little red in the face and he said, “you’re on, little dick”. Then I was mad. I wanted to kiss his bare, hairless ass but was too pissed to lose to do it. I had to win this hand. Fuck, I lost. Surprisingly, he walked over to me, turned around where I was sitting at the table and pulled his warm-up pants down. He was wearing a jock strap. He had the most gorgeous ass that I’d ever seen, pale, but with a golden tan all around the right speedo areas. He had absolutely no hair on his ass at all. I swear that he shaved his ass. The shape of his ass was incredible. My dick jumped to attention and I slid my lower body under the table so that Lance wouldn’t see that I was sporting a woody. He looked back around at me and told me to “kiss his beautiful ass”. I didn’t need any encouragement and very politely grabbed his hips, pulled his ass towards my face and grimaced when I put my lips against his ass and gave him a hickey on his ass. After I’d grimaced, he laughed and told me that I was an ass-kisser and that he’d always cherish the moment we’d had together. He was laughing like a banshee telling me that I’d kissed his ass and that I had liked it. He pulled up his pants and sat down at the table across from me. I told him to “fuck off”. “Want to play on” he asked? “Hell yes” was my answer. He said, “Okay Dickhead, if you’re so lucky and want to play poker so bad, if you lose the next hand, you will have to kiss my left nut.” I realized that my plan was working. I thought about it a second and said “you’re on”. He dealt the cards. I purposefully lost the hand. When he realized that he had won, he gave me a big mischievous smile and stood up from the table. I wanted him to pull his pants down all of the way so that I could take a look at his dick, but to no avail. He walked over to me, pulled down his warm-up pants and pulled his left nut out of his jock strap. I was pissed. But, I was also aghast. I said “that’s not a ball, that’s a fucking lemon”. His ball was huge. He just smiled down at me and told me to “kiss his big lemon”. I tried to act like I was appalled at kissing his ball and grimaced when I put my lips next to his hairless bag and huge ball. I also gave it the slightest bit of tongue just so that he would know that I meant business. He unceremoniously stuffed his big ball back into his strap, pulled up his warm-ups and sat back down at the table. “Have fun with my ball”, he asked? I just laughed and told him that I’d seen better examples of that in Fisher Nut cans. That got him pissed. I told him that I had the next play. If I won, he’d continue stripping, but if I lost, which I doubted give his current track record, I’d suck on both of his nuts for a full minute, taking turns on both of them. He realized that I was blitzed and I guess he decided to take advantage of the opportunity. His answer was “I’ll take that bet, Senor ball kisser.” “Let the game begin”, I said. Lance dealt the hand and I got a pair of queens and a pair of nines, plus a two. I decided to ditch a queen and a nine and the two. I asked for three cards. The dealer asked for two. I didn’t get shit. What a surprise. The dealer paired on eights. When I looked over at Lance he had a wicked smile on his face and rose up from the table. He walked over to me, right in front of my face, pulled down his warm-ups, pulled his jock strap aside and let his big fat balls hang free. They were magnificent, like two lemons hanging on a lemon tree. They were huge, really huge and totally hairless. I said, “Goddamn, you must cum in quarts rather than teaspoons. Those are really huge balls and I don’t think that I can hold both of them in my mouth at once.” He looked down at me, shoved his jock in my face and said, “suck both of my balls you big pussy”. With that, I put my face down to his crotch, held his left ball in my hand and let it fall into my mouth. I suckled his left ball for awhile and then he told me that it was time for me to let the right ball drop down into my mouth also. I opened my mouth as far as it would reach and let his other ball drop into my mouth. It was like having two globes in my mouth. God, he was hot and so were his hairless balls. I swished them around in my mouth as best I could but still gagged as they almost fell back into my throat. I continued to tongue his balls until he pulled them out of my mouth. The minute was up. He was breathing very heavy at this point, as was I. Lance sat back down and said “here’s the next bet, if I win, you kiss the head of my dick and if I lose, I’ll continue stripping”. I looked at him long and hard and there was a certain twinkle in his eyes that made me say “yes, I’ll take that bet”. Strangely, he winked at me afterwards as if he knew what I was up to. So I shuffled the cards and dealt five to each one of us. I got three kings and a three/four combo. I threw away the three kings and drew against the three/four combo. I had to see what his dick looked like, no matter what. I didn’t care if he thought I was a cock-sucking faggot or not. I had to see his dick to see if the rumors were true. Not surprisingly, Lance won the hand. Lance got up from his seat and walked over to me. He pulled his pants down to his knees ceremoniously and stood there with a full jock strap pouch for me to absorb with my eyes. He then looked down at my face, laughed as he did it, and pulled his jock strap down to his knees. My jaw fell open, I gasped and my eyes bulged out of my head. Whatever rumors I’d heard about Lance’s dick were more than true. His dick was huge and perfect. It was truly the biggest dick that I’d ever seen, either in person or in the porn movies. Just a huge fucking dick. It was 7” long and still soft. His balls (lemons) hung even lower that his 7” soft dick. His girth was amazing. I’ve never seen such a fine specimen of dick. He had one of those beautiful dicks: long, and thick with a huge head. The head was enormous, a beautiful big fat head on the end of a beautiful big fat dick. It was the head of his dick that got to me, just superb. He had the slightest bit of golden light brown hair at the top of his prick. Just enough to look good but not enough to end up in your mouth or your nose when you’re deep-throating. After I’d gained my breath and my ability to talk, I asked him how big his dick got when he got hard. He proudly said “10 inches, no more, no less. I looked up into his eyes, winked and then saluted his big dick. “That’s a winner”, I said. Then I pulled his big schlong off of his balls and gingerly kissed the head of his dick, making sure that I grimaced when I did the nasty deed, but also making sure that I caressed the underside of his head with my tongue. The son of a bitch smiled down at me. I pulled back off of his magnificent dick and told him to sit his ugly ass back down, that we weren’t through playing cards yet. After he shoved his meat back in his jock and pulled up his pants, I then told him that the next bet would be the same except that I would French Kiss his dickhead for 15 seconds. I looked at Lance and he eyed me squarely and then said “your lips, cocksucker”. He dealt and I was so pissed that I decided to win the hand. I did. I laughed as Lance stood up, walked over to me, pulled his leg up and pulled off his left sock. What an asshole he was. He threw his sock in my face and sat back down. I laughed as I told him that he would soon be down at the lake reaching for mud to throw on his sorry arse. He went over to his gym bag, pulled out a bottle of Tylenol and asked me if I wanted some. I said no but he popped three into his mouth and swallowed them. It was my deal, same stakes. He’d had his ego trip and now I wanted to french kiss his big cock. I made sure that I lost the next hand. Lance, smirking, walked over to me and dropped his warm-ups again. He then pulled his balls and cock out of the side of his ample jock and left them in mid air for me to handle. “All right, cocksucker, you’ve got 15 seconds to French kiss my big, fat dick”. “Make him happy, ” he said. I took his big member in my hands, pulled it up to my mouth and wrapped my lips around the head of his enormous dick. I proceeded to lick the underside of his dick, the head, the corona, anything on his dickhead that my tongue would touch. For 15 seconds I tried to suck his dickhead without showing that I was sucking his dickhead. Looking back on it, I think that I failed. Oh well, who cares. He pulled his dickhead out of my mouth after 15 seconds and he had a semi-semi going. He looked at me long and hard. He was really gazing me over, eyeing me, deciding if I was really a friend, or just an unwanted faggot who was willing to suck his dick for the evening. I suppose that he finally decided that I was worth keeping, now matter how homo-ish I was. Then he made the next bet: “I’ll continue with my stripping, but you, you’ll let me slide my dick in and out of your mouth for 30 seconds. Period.” My mouth came unglued, I lunged at the table, and gasped. “All right, let me see if I have this perfectly clear”, I said, “if I win you get to take off a sock and if I lose, I have to suck your big dick for 30 seconds. Is that right!?!?!?!?” Lance looked straight at me, never blinking an eye and said, “that’s the bet motherfucker, take it or leave it, but, if you’re too chicken-shit to take the bet we can go to bed and sleep this off”. I looked him straight in the eye and said “you know what, asshole, I’m just drunk enough to take you up on that bet. I don’t have to worry, I’ve got mojo on my side.” He had the most devilish gleam to his eyes when I said “yes” to the bet, but finally, my plan was coming into fruition. I won the next hand and he reached down and pulled off his other sock. Big fucking deal. I also won the following hand. He stood up and I watched in amazement has he stepped out of his warm up pants. I love to watch a man take off his clothes. There’s something very sensual about it, very voyeuristic also. God he looked great standing there in just his jock strap. What a hunk. What a pouch. His jock was stretched to the max. I’d never seen anyone fill up a jock strap like he did. The sides of the pouch weren’t even touching his skin. He turned around and picked his warm-up pants off of the floor and gave me a bird’s eye view of his ass and pink hole. I was hard as a rock. He turned back around threw his pants at me and sat back down. I told him that when he lost the next hand he was going to be running to the lake for some mud. He just laughed and said that I’d be sucking his dick before he ran down the hill. I dealt the cards and I got a pair of jacks, a pair of tens, and also a two. I threw away a jack and a ten and hoped for the best. Lance took two cards. When we laid down our hands, Lance had a pair of Kings and I had nothing. A big grin came across Lance’s face when he realized that he’d won. I tried to act all pissed off and cussed the cards. Lance stood up and walked over to me, his basket bouncing around as he walked. What a full pouch this guy was sporting. He grabbed the back of my head and shoved my face against his full jock strap and held it there for a few seconds. Then he stepped back and with much fanfare pulled his jock strap down to his knees. “You lose, you suck” he said roughly. I looked up at him and his Cheshire Cat smile and rolled my eyes, shrugged my shoulders, tried to look dejected and simply opened my mouth. He didn’t waste any time. In a heartbeat he grabbed up his flaccid dick and plopped the head of his dick in my mouth. I closed my lips around it and while he started counting, from 1 to 30, I started sucking his dick. It tasted great. I could taste his precum as I stuck my tongue into his piss hole. I went deeper down on him and soon had 5 inches of flaccid dick in my mouth. He was counting very slowly. I continued running my tongue around the head of his dick, especially on the underside of his head where it’s most sensitive. I could feel his dick starting to thicken and realized that there was at least another inch of dick between my mouth and his pubes than there had been when I started sucking. Finally the 30 seconds were up. He pulled his dick out of my mouth and then held the head about 6 inches away from my mouth. He asked me if I’d ever sucked cock before and I lied and told him no. He said “you’re actually pretty good at sucking cock. You should do it for a living.” He had a pretty good semi going when I looked at his dick again. It still wasn’t sticking straight out or straight up but he wasn’t completely flaccid anymore either. Just a nice arch to his dick. He was breathing very heavily at this point. I was too. He pulled his jock strap back up and went and sat back down. God, what an ass. God, what a dick. He looked at me and asked if I wanted to play some more poker. “Hell yes” I said. I asked him what the bet was going to be and he said “same thing, except I want a full two minutes with that talented mouth of yours”. I nodded my head in agreement and handed the cards to him. He dealt out the cards and I got three twos, a seven and a jack. I sat there for a minute contemplating my hand. I three away the jack and two of the twos and drew jack shit of nothing. I was hoping he could beat a jack high hand. He did. Again a big smile came across his face when he realized that he’d won. I tried to look pissed off and dejected at the same time. He told me that it was time to start sucking his big dick again and that he had a surprise. He stood up from his seat and his dick was as hard as a rock. There were 5 inches of dick sticking out above the elastic of his jock strap. The head of his dick was above his belly button. What a huge fucking dick. My mouth gapped open when I saw his huge hard-on. He walked over to me, pulled his jock strap down to his ankles, stepped out of it and sat down on the table in front of me. He threw one leg over my shoulder and to the other side of the table so that I had a perfect view of his crotch. His dick was absolutely ripe. He hadn’t been joking when he told me that he had a 10” dick. It was at least 10 inches. On top of that it was almost as thick as a beer can. The head of his dick was enormous, absolutely mammoth. The glands on his dickhead stuck almost an inch away from the body of his dick. He wiggled his ass up to the edge of the table so that his balls could hang down freely. They easily hung down 9 inches from his dick. I was staring at 19” of crotch from top to bottom. I pushed my seat back away from the table to get a better angle for sucking. I was so excited that I didn’t even realize that my dick was rock hard and that he could just look down and realize that I was as excited as he was. He pointed it out to me before I got a chance to start sucking. “Looks like you’re as eager to suck my dick as I am to get sucked” he said. What do you mean I asked. He just pointed down to my Woodrow and smiled. I turned crimson red all over again and hung my head in shame. He grabbed the back of my neck and started rubbing the nape of it. “It’s all yours bud. For a full two minutes. Enjoy yourself.” He slowly pushed my face towards his big cock. I started by licking his dick up one side and down the other. Really coating it up with my spit. Then I concentrated on his big head. It was about an inch and a half long. I twirled my tongue all over that dickhead, around the sides and especially up under. He moaned when I started licking the underside of his dickhead. I liked the sound of that moan. “Take my dick in your mouth” he said. I opened my mouth as far as it would stretch and took the head into my mouth. I could barely get the head into my mouth he was so damned big. It was a very snug fit and my mouth was stretched to the absolute max. What a thick dick this guy had. He moaned even louder. I kept tonguing his head and then went down on him as far as I could go, about 5 inches. I bobbed up and down on his dick for a while. Lance’s breathing was getting louder and more labored. He was really getting into having another guy suck on his big dick. “Do you think you can take it all in, bud” he asked. I shook my head, his dick still in my mouth. “Come on guy, try and take the whole thing in.” I came off of his dick, looked up at him and told him that I’d do the best that I could but that it probably wasn’t going to happen. “Just take in as much as you can dude” he said. I took a deep breath and dove down on his big dick again. He moaned again. I could feel his dickhead against the back of my throat and tried to push myself down on him farther but couldn’t. All I could do was gag. I took his dick out of my mouth, took a deep breath and tried it again. Again, just gagging. He was rubbing his hands gently against the back of my head, rubbing my hair very sensuously. I liked the feel of his hands rubbing my hair. I tried 3 more times and still couldn’t get his dick to go into my throat. He was just too fucking big. I came off of him and told him that it looked like a no-go. He said to try one more time. My mouth felt like it had been on a stretcher. My jaw was aching. But I dove down on his manhood once more. I could feel the head of his dick rammed against the back of my mouth. He was grinding his ass up off of the table and into my mouth, trying to force his dick into my throat. I could feel the pressure building against my throat and then suddenly I felt a popping noise inside my throat. He heard it too and took his hands and shoved my head down onto his stiff dick. My throat noisily opened up and suddenly I had my lips against the base of his dick. The remaining 5 inches of his dick had slid into my aching throat on one fell swoop. His pubes were tickling my nose. I was in shock. He let out a huge moan and said “I don’t fucking believe it. You’ve got all 10 inches in your mouth and down your throat. I don’t fucking believe it. No one’s ever been able to deep throat my big dick and take it all in.” I couldn’t fucking believe it either. It only took a couple of seconds before my throat started to revolt and convulse. I was like a snake with its jaw unhinged. My mouth was stretched beyond belief and I had 5 inches of thick dick in my throat. My throat started to try and get rid of the invasive intruder. I could feel my throat muscles constricting and tightening, trying to push out his big dick. He went fucking nuts. “Oh, fuck, oh fuck, that’s it, work that throat on my big dick. That feels fucking fantastic. Keep doing that. Fucking great.” Believe me, I wasn’t doing it intentionally. I started to gag and thought that I was going to pass out from a lack of oxygen. I pulled my face off of his crotch and pulled his dick out of my mouth. “Your two minutes are up dude” I said. We both sat there stunned in disbelief that I was able to take his entire monster into my mouth. He told me that it was the best head he’d ever had, from either a guy or a girl. I asked him how many other guys had given him head and he said just one, in high school. On top of that Barbara had quit giving him head the day after they got married. He hadn’t had a blow job in 5 years. He begged me to take his dick back into my mouth and get his rocks off but I refused. I told him he’d have to win that prize in poker. He grinned really big and said “fucking A”. He walked back to his seat not bothering to put his strap back on. Damn what a hunk and what I beautiful ass I thought. I asked him if the stakes were the same and he surprised me with a “Hell no”. I asked him what my bet was going to be since his was going to be the same. “Well” he stammered, looking quite embarrassed, “I’ve always wanted to stick the head of my dick in another guy’s butt because I’ve heard that it’s the tightest thing in the world.” My jaw hit the floor. He actually wanted to stick his dickhead up my butt. What a fag I thought. Granted I sucked dick, but I’d never been fucked before, nor had I ever given being butt-fucked a second thought. He asked me if I’d ever had a guy stick his dick up my ass and I told him truthfully, “fuck no”. I was really scared because I knew that his dick was huge and being a virgin and all that he’d probably tear my ass into two pieces if he rammed that big head into my backside. At the same time though, as I really gave it some serious thought, I was really curious to see what it would be like to have a dickhead in my ass. I pondered it for a long while. He was watching me, quizzically, with a question mark written all over his face. I thought about it some more. He looked more and more embarrassed the longer I pondered the idea. Like he was ashamed of his homosexual desires of butt-fucking another man. He finally broke the silence and said please to let him do it and that he’d only keep his head in my butthole for 30 seconds, no more. I finally decided to accept the bet and he looked really relieved. I told him though that he’d have to win the next hand though. If he didn’t, he was lake bound. Secretly, I really wanted to win this hand. I just didn’t want to go through with this particular bet. I’d just have to win and then maybe suck his dick until he came down my throat. I dealt. I was really nervous and my hands were shaking. So were his I noticed. I drew 3 eights and some bull shit. I threw away the bull shit and kept the eights. I drew a pair of fours. Great, I thought, I had him beat with a full house. He said he was going to stick with the five cards that I’d dealt him. I thought that he probably had a straight or a flush and that wasn’t going to win this hand. I proudly laid my full house out on the table and he was floored. His mouth dropped open when he saw it. Then he said “I can’t believe after a night of shit cards that we’d have two great hands at the same time”. I got scared. He smiled and laid down 4 tens. I was stunned, absolutely stunned. He looked up at me really seriously and told me to take my shoes off. I’d forgotten that I still had on my tennis shoes. What a sight I was. Stark naked, with a raging hard-on, tennis shoes and no socks. He pushed his chair away from the table and stood up. His dick looked even bigger than it had two minutes prior. I gasped openly at the sight of his big fat dick. He looked at me, winked at me and then stroked his big dick a couple of times. He told me that he’d heard that the best position for this would be for me to be on my back with my legs up in the air. He said “climb up on the table and lay on your back”. I took my shoes off, climbed up onto the table and sat down on it. Surprisingly, my dick was as hard as a rock. Again I was embarrassed to think that he was looking at me, his dick as big as shit, mine not nearly as big, knowing that he was going to stick his dick up my ass and that I was excited enough about the situation to have a huge hard-on. Like I wanted to have his huge pecker inserted into my rectum. I looked at him and begged him not to stick his head in my ass, that I’d suck him all night if that’s what it took. He grunted that I’d lost the bet and that his head was indeed going into my tight virgin asshole. I told him that there was no way that I was going to let him ride me without any lube on his dick. Good, I thought, there’s no lube and I’m sure he forgot to pack any. To my surprise, he went over to the cabinet and pulled out the bottle of Crisco Oil that we’d brought with us for frying fish. “Look, lube for both of us” he said. He opened up the bottle and poured a hefty amount of oil onto his dickhead and then rubbed the excess oil all over his head and the rest of his dick. He just stroked himself for a good 30 seconds while I looked on. What a fucking hunk. What a huge fucking dick. Well at least he was greased up I thought. If he’d tried to stick his dick up my butt un-greased I really would have been split into numerous pieces. To be continued……………………………..

###

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212 Gay Erotic Stories from Anonymous

$100 Bill

A man goes to a tattoo artist and says: "I'd like you to tattoo a one-hundred dollar bill onto my dick." The tattoo artist is surprised: "Well, that could hurt a lot. Why would you want a 100 dollar bill on your dick?" The man answers, "Three reasons: I like to watch my money grow I like to play with my money And next time my lover wants to blow a hundred bucks, he won't have

15 Pieces of Advice

15 Pieces of Advice to be Passed On—or Passed Over! 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? - You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there? 4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. 5. Go for younger men. You might as well -

15 Signs He Already HAS a Boyfriend

15 Signs He Already HAS a Boyfriend 1. He wants to leave the club separately and meet you at the donut store. 2. He insists on going to YOUR car. 3. He wants to dance in the BACK of the club BEHIND the speakers. 4. He wants YOUR phone number, but won’t give you his. 5. He has to drop someone off BEFORE he can come to your place. 6. He says he’s ALONE, but keeps looking around.

A Bargain Parrot

A guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Gee,I wonder what happened to this parrot?" "I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot." "Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood

A Bargain Parrot

A guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Gee,I wonder what happened to this parrot?" "I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot." "Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood

A Big Beautiful Dick

I came out while I was in college. I had sex with a man for the first time during my sophomore year. I had a rather closeted gay life in college. I didn't really hang out with the gay crowds. I dated men and I had sex with men, but I kept kind of low about it. When college was over, I went on to grad school. I maintained contact with my friends from college, but going to grad

A Dream Come True

One time in the summer my friend asked me to spend the night at his house. I said sure, when I got there the house was so hot I started to swet just from standing there. I asked him why it so hot. He said that they just had their carpet shampooed and that they made a big fire in their fireplace to dry it out. I said to him i dont think I can Sleep here. He said don't worry I set the tent up in

A Dying Confession

Jake was dying. His lover, Bob, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. He held his fragile hand, tears running down his face. His praying roused Jake from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling Bob," he whispered. "Hush, my love," Bob said. "Rest. Shhh, don't talk." He was insistent. "Bob," he said in his tired voice. "I....I

A Few Zen Thoughts...

Save the whales. Collect the whole set. A day without sunshine is like, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Honk if you love peace and quiet. Remember, half the people you know are below average. He

A Horse and A Chicken

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. Suddenly, the horse falls into a mud hole and starts to sink. The horse yells at the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So, the chicken gets into the farmer's Mercedes and drives it as fast as possible back to the mud hole. Wasting no time, the

A Horse and a Rooster

A horse and a young rooster are playing in a meadow. Suddenly, the horse falls into a mud hole and starts to sink. The horse yells at the little rooster to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rooster runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So, the rooster gets into the farmer's Mercedes and drives it as fast as possible back to the mud hole. Wasting

A John's Mother

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of John’s sexual orientation, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading

A Matter Of Economy

A couple, age 68, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Doctor, will you watch us have intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And he charged them $10.00. This happened for several weeks in a row. The couple would make

A Note From Hell

A man enters a gay bar and while sitting at his table, notices an absolutely gorgeous man sitting at another table--alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of champagne to be sent over to the hunk, knowing that if he accepts it, he will be his for the night. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the hunk , saying this is from the

A Pissy Night At The Bar

I went downtown to get my ticket to Dallas for the party. Afterwards I checked the P.O. Box. Just a letter from the Chain Drive. My new Chain Drive card was in, and went to pick it up. After getting my card, I went out on the patio. This butch Daddy type, with a huge uncut cock was playing with his cock, while I was talking to this Hispanic male. After awhile, he came up close and

A Poor Choice of Words

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my lover when he sliced his ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had

A Testament to Ineffective Communication

A man is lying in the hospital's urgent care facility on life support and in a coma. A couple nurses are in his room giving him a sponge bath, while his lover waits nervously outside. One of the nurses is in the midst of washing his 'private parts' and notices that there is a definite response on the monitor when she touches him. They go to the lover and explain what just

Absolut

A Russian named Alexi is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie. Alexi is stunned and the genie says, "hello master. I will grant you one wish, anything you want." Alexi begins thinking. Well, I really like drinking vodka. Finally Alexi says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."

Absolut

A Russian named Alexi is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie. Alexi is stunned and the genie says, "hello master. I will grant you one wish, anything you want." Alexi begins thinking. Well, I really like drinking vodka. Finally Alexi says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."

After Hours

One boring Friday afternoon at the office you receive a letter in the mail. Nothing interesting from the looks of it, but as you read on, you soon realize that you are, again, being invited to another fun-filled weekend at your friend's place, and your mind starts wandering. A big grin comes over your face, and a bulge begins to form in your pants while you remember some past parties.

Aku dan Mat Saleh

Nama aku M.. aku bekerja sebagai seorang kerani di salah sebuah syarikat swasta di ibu negara, dah hampir tiga tahun aku bekerja di syarikat tersebut, aku tak punya seorang pun kawan wanita yang special yang boleh di ajak pergi tengok wayang atau pergi mana mana untuk realease tention. Kadang kadang tu aku rasa cemburu juga tengok orang lain berpegang tangan dengan teman wanita masing

Alcohol Warnings We'd Like to See

The FDA decided to place different kinds of warnings on all alcohol products to let customers know the risks involved: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a

An Airline Story

The plane's cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who was just as obviously enjoying himself at the same time. It was nearing the end of quite a long flight and the cockpit crew sounded two bells, indicating their final descent, signaling the cabin crew to prepare the cabin for landing. The gay flight attendant came swishing down the aisle, picked up the

And So It Goes...

An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and says... “And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou

And Your Profession is...

A shepherd is looking after his flock on the edge of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new BMW screeches to a halt next to him. The driver, a young man dressed in a Brioni suit, Cerrutti shoes, Ray-Ban glasses, and a YSL tie gets out and proposes to the shepherd. “If I guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?” The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at

And Your Profession is...

A shepherd is looking after his flock on the edge of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new BMW screeches to a halt next to him. The driver, a young man dressed in a Brioni suit, Cerrutti shoes, Ray-Ban glasses, and a YSL tie gets out and proposes to the shepherd. “If I guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?” The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at

Another First Time

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Army Sex

This is a true story about one of my *MANY* sexual encounters while stationed at Ft. Belvoir, VA. This is what goes on in the Army; Navy boys don't have all the fun. During first formation one day in early May, Top called for volunteers to take a lifeguard training course over at the post pool. I raised my hand and was chosen as one of the six to participate from

Art Project

Nena sat at the light table, tracing a complicated pattern. Tim couldn't keep his eyes away from her. She was a cute little Puerto Rican, 18 years old...not too much younger. He was almost 20. He couldn't stop watching the brightness of the table reflect onto her thin cotton white button down. He could see the faint impressions of her slightly stiffened nipples, pressing against her

As It Hits the Fan

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day!" "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same Six double vodka drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just

At My Cottage

My cottage is on an island in one of the great lakes. The closest island to us is about 0.5 mile away, and rarely do boats pass by in the waterways around the island. I had invited two of my hottest guy friends up to my cottage for a weekend. I said it was just to relax and have fun or whatever, but didn't mention its location and the situation of no one in sight. None of us are

Back Rider

It had been a great day. Warm, dry and the traffic had been light. I had been riding for some seven hours now, but wasn't yet tired. The sun had just started to draw the evening curtains, and there was a faint hint of rain on the cooling twilight air. I was cruising along a quiet back road in Sussex on my BMW K100. I have been riding bikes since I was 16, that's 24 years now. I

Backstreet Orgy

This story involves m/m/m/m/m sex. If you are under 18 do not read it. It is not meant to imply anything about the sexual orientation of the Backstreet Boys. Once the concert ended, each of the Backstreet Boys went back to their private hotel rooms to sleep after the exhausting performance. After they were each tucked into their comfy beds, Brian's phone rang. He picked it

Bad Bust, Part 1

I am an only child. My parents are well-off. My Dad is cool. It was my Dad that hired my first hooker right after my 17th birthday. The nice girls I met didn't put out like the hookers. I enjoyed hiring hookers. I could treat them as rough as I wanted. I enjoy treating women rough. Every time me girlfriend left me sexually frustrated, I would find a hooker, and I would take it

Bad Bust, Part 4

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Bad Bust, Part 5

I was left alone for sometime before Jack returned. Jack said, "Well, not bad for $500.00 bucks. Not bad at all! I'm gonna have fun with you." I told him just to let me go and I would give him a lot more money then he had spent. He said, "Not a chance, kid. I am gonna to get more pleasure out of the pain I inflict on you then all the money in the world could buy." I

Bad Bust, Part 2

The usual disclaimer, if it's illegal for you to read this, don’t I kind of stood there in shock. I looked from one cop to the other, expecting this to be a joke. The cop in front of me, repeated "Play with my dick." He shoved a knee into my privates. I doubled over, the cop behind me reached between my legs, and grabbed my aching balls. He begin to tighten his

Bad Bust, Part 3

The handcuffs were frustrating me, I couldn't hear what the two cops were whispering about. The cop cum residue in my mouth was making me want to gag. I hid my nervousness as the cop that had raped my mouth pulled out a knife. All kinds of thoughts ran through my head. I almost sighed as he began to cut my shirt off. Soon, they had me naked. I ignored them as they were talking

Bad Bust, Part 6

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Banking Woes

A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fu%#in' checking account" To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" "Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fu#%in' checking account right now." "Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!" The teller left the window and went over to the

Banking Woes

A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fu%#in' checking account" To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" "Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fu#%in' checking account right now." "Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!" The teller left the window and went over to the

Basketball Star Of The North

I thought everyone had left the locker-room at least an hour ago, but just before I turned off the light -- having completed my cleaning duties -- I made one last check and nearly gasped in astonishment: There, in a far corner of the room, lay Wally Szczerbiak, star player of the Minnesota Timberwolves. He was stark naked, his hands had been tied behind his back, and something had

Best Friends

Allen and I had been best friends for many years. We had done many things and cared for each other. I was 5'7" 135 pounds 19 years old at this time. I had brown hair and brown eyes. Allen was 18, 6'1" 175 and also had brown hair and brown eyes. We were both told we were good looking and had many girlfriends. Allen's girlfriend mentioned to me how horny he always was. I couldn't

Better Late Than Never

A ninety-year-old man lived in a rest home and got a weekend pass. He stopped in his favorite bar and sat at the end and ordered a drink. He noticed a seventy-year-old woman at the other end of the bar and he told the bartender to buy the lovely young lady a drink. As evening progressed, the old man joined the lady and they went to her apartment, where they got it on. ("The

Better Late...

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive. "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor. "Not a chance", says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache." "No problem," replies the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on." A week later

Big Bear Uncle

By wazzarello@cox.net I loved my great Uncle Roy. He was my maternal grandfather's youngest brother by adoption and, as such, was only thirteen years older than my father. Roy was by far, the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on. He had never married and, although well educated, had devoted his entire adult life to the small farm he inherited from my great grandparents. The hard work

Birds!

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, “The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man. The shop owner says, "Well, the parrot knows how to use a computer". The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because

Blond Holiday

This guy has a blond friend who can never seem to laid, so he decides to take him to New Orleans for a day of sin and frolic. He drops the blond off at his hotel, and tells him where all the best gay bars are in the French Quarter—literally a dozen to choose from, starting on Bourbon Street, like Pub on Bourbon, Parade Disco, Oz, etc. and informs him he is going to visit with an

Blondes

A blind guy who’s become rather intoxicated in a local gay bar, decides to make Himself known to his new found patrons, and announces loudly, “Hey, ya’ll wanna hear a really great blond joke?” The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The BARTENDER is blond, the BOUNCER is blond

Bobby Harriton's Gay Adventure, Part 1

"Damn traffic," Rob Harriton muttered as he got out of bed. It was 7:45 AM on Saturday and Rob had been looking forward to sleeping in. Rob's boyfriend, Harry Burns, turned over towards him. "Don't worry sexy," he whispered. "We can play some more." Harry rubbed his cock against Rob's naked body. Rob smiled as he kissed Harry, and sure enough they were soon having hardcore sex. They

Bobby Harriton's Gay Adventure, Part 2

Harry parked his truck a few miles away from the Harriton house. Telling Bobby to stay put, he went to the back of his truck. Harry lived in his truck. There was a small fridge, a small TV, and a bed in the living compartment. Also on the bed were the 3 sets of clothes Harry owned; when he wasn't in his truck working he was at the Harriton house, naked, so Harry didn't see the

Bobby Harriton's Gay Adventure, Part 3

"Ah, this is the life," Bobby Harriton said as he sat on the roof of the truck. His boyfriend, Harry, sat shirtless nearby. It was a very hot day. Harry was a trucker, and had made a delivery cross-country. It had taken him a week, and throughout Bobby had been with him… naked! Harry used to date Bobby's father Rob, and Bobby and Harry had been naked when Rob had caught them. They

Brown Elk

An Indian named Brown Elk walked into the saloon. He was a giant of a man with a six-shooter tucked into his belt, so no one dared ask why he was carrying a pail of manure in one hand and a small chicken in the other. "I'll have a whiskey," he told the bartender, and after downing the shot, Brown Elk ordered another. Then another. Finally, after his fourth drink, the Indian pulled

Campus Friends

While driving around on a large college campus, one is bound to see all sorts of people. This is what I was doing when I saw my friend, Johnny, for the first time. I was driving through the center of campus on my way back to my apartment after class. There were thousands of people walking to and fro because of the class break (I say thousands because I go to a large university in

Careful What You Say

An old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic because of the

Caught In The Act

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Chatt

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Cherry Turn Out, Part 1

At 18, I ended up in the Paulding County Jail. The first night I slept downstairs in a holding cell. The next day I was taken upstairs to a tank. The jail was small and relaxed. The tank I was put in consisted of four cells with four bunks and a toilet in each. There was a dayroom with a shower stall and a large steel table with a bench. The jail wasn't crowded, and the

Cherry Turn Out, Part 2

I was wondering if I was walking different, my asshole felt strange. None of the guys acted any different, the day was pretty much the same. Card playing, watching the Price is Right, the usual. The guys were getting drunk again. I was in my bunk reading when Mike stood at the cell opening. He had five packs of cigarettes in his hands and asked if he could spend the night. I

Cock-hungry College Boys

Jason stared at the brick building. It looked like any other college student's residence: big, imposing, functional. He hoped that college life on the inside was better than what it looked like from the outside. He checked the crumpled slip of paper again: Room 269-N. Jason stepped through the front doors of the residence building and was pleasantly surprised to find a lobby and

Commumication's Essential

A doctor gave a 92-year-old man a physical exam. A few days later he happened to notice the man walking down the street with his arm around a gorgeous young man and grinning from ear to ear. The next time he encountered the man, the doctor said, "You are really doing great, aren't you?" "Just doing what you said, Doc," the man agreed. "You said, 'Get a hot number and be

Communication's Everything

A doctor gave a 92-year-old man a physical exam. A few days later he happened to notice the man walking down the street with his arm around a gorgeous young woman and grinning from ear to ear. The next time he encountered the man, the doctor said, "You are really doing great, aren't you?" "Just doing what you said, Doc," the man agreed. "You said, 'Get a hot mamma and be

Confessional Humor

The newly ordained priest arrives at his first assignment and is getting settled in when the pastor asks him to take confessions on Saturday morning. To help him out, the pastor gives him a book with all possible sins, and suggested penances. So the young priest goes over to the church, goes into the box and begins hearing confessions. After the usual run, a voice from behind the

Construction Sign Language

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods

Cowboy Meets Indian

There was once this cowboy, riding through the wild west. One day, off in the distance, he sees a small cloud of dust. So he rides his horse up to it, and finds its an Indian laying on the ground with his chop sticking out of his pants! The cowboy gets off his horse and asks, "What are you doing?", To which the Indian replies, "Me tell time! Penis acts as sundial." The cowboy

Creative Banking

This is reported to be an actual letter sent to a Bank in the US. The Bank thought it amusing enough to publish it in their newsletter: Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I tried to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the funds

Cruising In the Navy

After ten years in the Navy I'd learned a few things about cruising-or not cruising-on base, and how to figure out who was 'safe' to hit on. I'd seen enough guys get burned by the system and tossed out on their ass for being gay, that it sort of came as second nature, what I thought I could do and what was too hot to go near (or maybe just too fuckin' uptight...). Pissed me off,

Dan Pastorini Of The Houston Oilers

***The following fantasy is a work of fiction*** Rick called me just before midnight. "Get over to the hotel," he said. "Room 1470. I've got a client who wants a show." "I'm pretty tired," I told him. "Think I'll skip this one." "You don't want to skip this one," he said. "Lots of money?" I asked. "Lots of cock," he replied. "The client's Dan Pastorini." "I'm on my way." I hung

Devine Golf

As a young man, Norton was an exceptional golfer. At the age of 26, however, he decided to become a priest, and joined a rather peculiar Order. He took the usual vows of poverty, chastity, but his Order also required that he quit golf and never play again. This was particularly difficult for Norton, but he agreed and was finally ordained a priest. One Sunday morning, the

Doing Without, Part 1

I had been locked up for almost three weeks. No TV, no radio, I spent most of the day playing cards with my cellie. His time was up, I had been in here for three days by myself when they brought in the kid. The guard led him in, the kid fell on the empty bunk and fell in a deep sleep. I kept playing solitaire, but kept looking at the kid. I am 28, about 6'2", 32 inch waist, a

Doing Without, Part 2

He struggled as I pinned him down, my bigger body covering his. His struggling caused the soft skin of his ass to rub against my cock, my precum slicking up that nice skin. He was more than a boy, but not quite a man, and he was doing the best to save his ass, no pun intended. Both of us knew I would win, but the dude wasn't planning on giving up very easy. I begin to kiss

Doing Without, Part 3

I kissed Colt for awhile, even though Colt had stopped fighting, I knew by his shriveled dick, he didn't want this. Fuck, if I was in his place, I wouldn't have wanted it either. I knew a joke about tossing salad, it sounded disgusting, but, it may help the kid...... He squirmed a little with I moved him into a position, I slowly but my tongue on his ass hole. The taste wasn't bad,

Doing Without, Part 4

I had about a third of my log in him now, it had taken awhile to get this much in the tight ass. Sweat poured from both of us. I supposed he was sweating from the pain my big dick was making him feel, my sweat from trying to control myself and not lunge into this hot tight shit hole in one single thrust. I rested for a second, this was giving Colt time to get used to me.

Donations Dilema

A girl got in line to donate blood at the local blood bank. She got to talking to the man in line in front of her and asked how often he donated blood. He corrected her, stating that he was there to donate sperm. Really, she said, how much do they pay for sperm donations? $50.00 the man stated. The girl replied that she only made $10.00 each time she donated blood. After the

Drinks & Personalities

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance, down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying, a pain in the butt. Your

Drinks & Personality

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a man's personality based on what he drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance, down to earth. Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid. Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid Your Approach: Challenge him to a game

Erection Correction

There was a man who had a problem getting an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor takes all kinds of tests and finally decides that he can cure the man. The doctor tells the man to go home and wait until his wife is asleep, and then to reach down between her legs and get a little love juice on his finger and rub it under his nose, and that this would stimulate his brain and then he

Escaped Convict

A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on the run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in the bedroom; the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife to the bed. The helpless husband watched him get on the bed, straddle his wife and start to nuzzle her neck. His wife started to move her head violently, at which the man

Eternal Damnation

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman. "That's unfair !" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman." "Shut up!" barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork.

Everlasting Lovers, Part 1

In the Beginning Rich On my 24th birthday, I moved to San Francisco to pursue a career passion as a personal trainer. When the professional opportunity presented itself I jumped on it recognizing that the city would present a much better environment for my gay lifestyle to flourish. But I never expected the life-transforming event that began at the Marina green just days after I

Everlasting Lovers, Part 2

In the Mouth Scott We hopped in my Alfa Spider, top down, and started the 20-minute drive to my house. There was so much I wanted to say about what had just happened. But words would probably detract from the communication power of our bodies. As we approached my house, I confided in Rich my unusual ability to climax repeatedly. “If I ever push for excessive sex, kick me in the

Every Dog Has His Day

George W. Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died. Due to a glitch in the mundane/celestial time-space continuum, all three arrive at the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though their deaths have taken place decades apart. The first to present himself to Saint Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions him. "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea

First is Not Always Best

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home

First Massage

Absolutely true experience. Ever since puberty I had always fantasized about having sex with another man. I constantly masturbated over these thoughts but never acted on them until a few years ago when I was 22. I have been with many women, but never had the opportunity to act on my gay fantasies. I decided to go for it. I was in Chicago at a company meeting and I found the

First Oral Sex On A Business Trip

It was another hectic business meeting in Las Vegas. I had finished my meeting and was dying to get outside to do something. I had been to Las Vegas many times and was bored with the casino scene. After I freshened up in my hotel, I drove to a strip bar that I often go to with other guys from work. This was the first time going alone. After some beers and a few lap dances, which

First Time In Ballet Tights

It was my first dance class, and I was nervous, but the idea of wearing nylon tights in public and seeing other men in them up close was too thrilling to pass up. I have had a fetish about tights for years, and cycling and running allowed me to engage in it without suspicion. But the thick nylon supplex material was a poor substitute for the delicate, clinging nylon of ballet

Florida--Flea Paradise

One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of Florida to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?" To which the second flea replied "I just rode

FootLocker Boy

I was in a FootLocker store at the mall; I loved how it smelled in there. All those hot jocks with their old, smelly sneakers. I sat next to this hot young stud. He looked like he just got out of practice. He seemed to be around 19ish. Man, was he good looking. He had these deep blue eyes and this light brown hair; he was all sweaty and had his stinky sneakers off. He didn’t have

Foul Cry Fowl

This middle-aged handsome and well groomed guy was in a pet shop, when he spotted this parrot, and fell in love with it as soon as she saw it. He went to the shop owner and told him that he'd like to buy the bird as a surprise for his special friend. He said he would sell it to him, but he warned her that the bird had been brought up by some male prostitute in a brothel, and had

Foul Mouthed Fowl

This lady was in a pet shop, when she spotted this parrot, and fell in love with it as soon as she saw it. She went to the shop owner and told him that she'd like to buy the bird. He said he would sell it to her, but he warned her that the bird had been brought up by some chick in a brothel, and had picked up some of the lingo. The woman said that she'd still like to have to bird,

Fresh Meat, Part 1

I was thinking about the 30 day sentence the judge had given me. It was supposed to teach me a lesson. With good time, I'd be out in 20 days, and nothing was going to change! My thoughts cleared as I was ordered to strip by some lazy overweight guard. I guess he got his jollies by watching men naked. I proudly removed my shirt. I was 19, 5'10, and had a great body. I knew I

Fresh Meat, Part 2

Fresh Meat, Part 2 "Don't do this, man, I'm straight, I'm not like that!" I begged. The guy shoved me to my knees, pulled down his boxer shorts, and said, "Get straight to work on this, kid, any teeth and you'll be missing some!" He grabbed my face, stuck two fingers into my lips and opened my mouth. His rod was on soft but he replaced his fingers with it.

Fresh Meat, Part 3

The Latin looking one’s cock had me in shock. The head of it was bigger around than a coke can. It tapered down below the head, down the shaft it got wider and wider. The base was even wider than the head! His cock was more ellipsoid in its shape than round. I knew he planned on fucking me in the ass, I thought rapidly, sucking a dick would be better than taking this monster!

Fresh Meat, Part 4

His adjusted his body onto mine, my ankles were on his wide shoulders, spreading my legs apart. His weight on top of me felt weird, he had his prick between my ass cheeks, my balls were kind of in the way. He started pumping up and down, his hard on between in my butt crack, "Shit," I was thinking, " What a stupid ass I am, I thought he was going to try and stick that thing in my

Fresh Meat, Part 5

Nothing had ever hurt this bad, nothing had prepared me for this, the worst pain I had ever felt before this was an ear ache..... I couldn't breath, I couldn't move..... I never realized how many nerve connections my asshole must have. I wasn't really aware of anything but this incredible burning pain. I think I would have blacked out, but as he forced his cock further and deeper

Freshman Romp

I was kind of nervous just starting college and moving away from home. I have never been to a big city like Chicago before and was kind of scared. I was living on campus and had two roommates that were as fresh as me. There was Bob, he was from a small town just like me and we kind of connected right away. Bob was really talkative and easy going for a little fish in a big bowl. On

Getting Old Sucks...

When I went to lunch today, I noticed this ol boy about 75-80 years sitting on a bench near the Food Court and he was sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He said: "I have a 22 year old lover at home. He makes love to me every morning and then he makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground, brewed coffee." I said: "Well, then why are you

Going Down French Style

Going Down French-Style Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his boyfriend, Jene, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Jene leans over to Pierre and says, "Pierre, kiss me!" Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Jene's lips. "What are you doing, Pierre?" says the startled Jene. "I am Pierre the

Grievance

Grievance I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: 1) I do physical labor, I work at great depths 2) I plunge head first into everything I do 3) I do not get weekends off or public holidays 4) I work in a damp environment 5) I don't get paid overtime 6) I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation 7) I work in high temperatures 8) My work

Health Club

John was interested in the health club, which had just opened. Everybody working out in the weight room, which could be seen from the street, was really healthy and really sexy. So John decided to check out the place. He walked up to the receptionist and said he might be interested in joining the club. So she led him on a tour through the gym facilities. Everyone there was really

Hell

One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon: Demon: Why so glum, chum? Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell. Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man? Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Demon: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink.

Helping the Hopless

A little old man, well into his eighties, slowly enters the front door of an erotic sex shop. Obviously very unstable on his feet, he Shakily hobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, he asks the sales clerk: "Ddddooo youuuu hhhave dddddildosss?" The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies:

Hollywood Squares Answers

These are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now. These are from the old Hollywood Squares show in the 70's... Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high? A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A: George

Home Alone

Tony was a 19-year-old guy with blond hair and hazel eyes. He had bought magazines with guys playing with other guys, so he thought it would be neat to try something he hadn't before. One day when his family members were out and he was alone at home. He stripped naked and stood there in his room with a fully erect cock. He started touching himself and saying swear words and

I Love My Job!

I love my job! I’m a cable installer, 32 years old, 6 foot, brown hair, green eyes, lean, toned, and smooth body. I enjoy the freedom of not being tied to a desk and working at my own pace. Of course, some of the basements I have to crawl around in are gross, but usually it’s a pleasant experience. Apparently we servicemen are a precious commodity as on more than one occasion I’ve

Improvise When All Else Fails

Steven was in bed with his boyfriend when he heard his lover opening the front door. "Hurry!" he said, "Stand in the corner." He quickly rubbed baby oil all over the boyfriend and then he dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to." he whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this, Stevie?" the lover asked as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a

In Mourning

Mark lost his lover almost four years ago in a tragic motor accident, and still has not gotten out of his depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. A close friend is constantly calling him and urging him to get back into the world. Finally, Mark says he'd go out, but didn't know anyone. His friend immediately replies, "Mark I have someone for you to meet, Steve, a

It's Never Too Late

Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a senior citizen's residence. They met one day in the social center, and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company. After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and she accepted. They had a lovely evening and afterward, Claude asked Maude to join him at his place for an after dinner drink. Things

Jeremy's Diary, Part 1

All the usual disclaimers....if it ain't legal for you to read this, then DON'T!!!!!! Hi, my name is Jeremy. It's hard to write about myself to other people but I am going to begin by describing me and my life. My dad works on the river. My mom works on making people miserable. Oh, my parents are alcoholics. River workers travel to where the work is, that’s why we are

John and Joe Jones

Once there were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John Jones was married, and Joe Jones was single. The single brother Joe was the proud owner of a dilapidated row boat. It happened that John Jones' wife died the same day that Joe's rowboat filled with water and sank. A few days later, a kindly old lady met Joe and mistaken him for John said; "Oh Mr. Jones, I am sorry to hear

John Derek Learns The 11th Commandment

***The following is a work of fiction*** Remember that scene in Cecil B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments" in which John Derek, playing Joshua, is tied spread-eagled between two columns while dressed in just a burlap loincloth? Wicked Vincent Price then begins to whip his chest. Having long harbored impure thoughts about what John Derek had hanging down between his legs, I watched the

John Gavin!

***The following is a work of fiction*** Hitchcock wasn't happy with the opening scene of his new movie, "Psycho." It showed John Gavin and Janet Leigh in a Phoenix hotel room, getting dressed after having apparently just had a session of lunch-hour sex. "Why not start the scene while they're still having sex?" I suggested to Hitch. "Have the camera move into the room's window, slow

Just One of Those Days...

Dave's wife decides he deserves a special present for his birthday, so she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave, how ya doing?" The wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He works out at the gym with me." When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Guinness. The

Lockerroom

I was relaxing in the locker room of the Sport Academy with a freshly opened can of suds in my right hand, after an especially gruesome day in the office. I had just dried myself off after an ice cold shower, the last procedure after finishing my usual weekly three rounds of sauna and had laid my sauna towel across the hard wooden bench to spread out on. I thought I was the last

Lost & Found

Gary recently lost his lover after a tragic skiing accident. He had him cremated and brought his ashes home with him. Picking up the urn that he was in, Gary poured his lovers ashes out on the counter. Then, while tracing his fingers in the ashes, he started talking to him. "Stan, you stupid old fool, skiing at your age........." He lowered his voice to a whisper, and with a

Lost At Sea

Lost at Sea Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he

Man Oh Man

This must be the hottest day of the year and of course my air conditioner is not working. The repairman was supposed to be here this morning, but it was already one in the afternoon. I am so hot, so sweaty, that I have no clothes on. Finally, a knock. That must be the repairman at the door! I open the door and develop the hugest erection possible. Standing in front of me is the

Marketing 101

You see a gorgeous guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed". That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed". That's Advertising. You see a gorgeous guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day

Martini Sermon

The young priest was so afraid at his first mass that he could hardly speak. Before his second week in the pulpit, he asked the monsignor, "How can I relax?" The monsignor, a veteran of his work, said, "My son, this Sunday it might help if you put a martini in the water pitcher instead of water. After a few sips, everything should go smoothly." Sunday came and the young priest

Me and My Lance

I was sitting there on the counter of my work office in a Motel in Orlando Flordia. I noticed that Joey Fatone of N'Sync ordered a room. I waited there since it was midnight and he was the last person to pick up his key to his room. I was visiting Orlando one day, and I decided to drop by Universal Studios because I heard that NSYNC was going to perform on "The Rosie 'O Donnell

Me and My Painter

I have had bisexual thoughts for years, but have never had the guts to act on them until recently. One of my neighbors is a professional painter and he always invites his son John to assist him on certain projects. John is 18 and a freshman at the University of Florida. I booked his father Peter to paint four bedrooms in my house. He asked me if his son could do the work over the

Midnight Stroll

It was late Saturday night and I was bored just sitting at home. I decided I’d ride into town on my bike. when I reached town I saw a good amount of people walking around and having fun. I roamed around for a good while 'til I decided it was time to head back home since I had found nothing interesting to do anyway. I hopped on my bike and started to head home. I had just gotten to

Milk Those Balls

I was always one that loved small balls, I love to put them in my mouth and just suck on them real slow...get the taste of hot balls all over my lips and rub them all over my face...Once I got the opportunity to mouth some big balls and the taste was not the same. My best encounter of small ball chewing was when I was in high school and I got drunk with a couple of close friends of

Mind Your Hands...

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, would you give me a blowjob?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"

Miss Queued

Young Bill was courting Miguel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Bill's porch watching the sun go down over the hills, Bill spied his prize bull doing the business on one of his cows. He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the hard word on Miguel. He

More Penis Humor

More Penis Humor: The Flinstones' Vitamins Penis: 10 million strong and growing The Wendy's Penis: Where's the beef?!?!? The Folger's Penis: The best part of waking up is Penis in your cup. The Lays Penis: Betcha can't eat just one. The Diet Coke Penis: Just for the taste of it... The Big Red Penis: It's longer with Big Red. The Robitussin Penis II: It's recommended by Dr.

Mr. Vain

Now that I'm a senior and have an apartment off campus, I don't spend a whole lot of time over by the frat house these days. I'd rather go to the bars than watch all the screeching little bimbos with the big hair get too drunk in the hopes that guys will pick them up and screw them. Personally I can't stand girls who will do anything to get laid. I also don't like the music I

My Fantasy

Ever since I was a young boy, I have fantasized about being with a man. I've always been straight and have always enjoyed the sex I've had with women but deep inside I've been fighting the urge to see what it would be like to suck a man's cock or to feel one deep inside me. I have yet to accomplish this dream but I will relate my fantasy as to how I would like it to occur. I'm

My first time

Although I can't believe this happened to me, three years ago to be precise, it did. On the condition of my anonymity, I'm able to write recount this incident. This was the first time I engaged in male to male sex. At the time, I was 18 and I lived in a town near Palm Beach, FL. I grew up in a pretty conservative household and this attributed to me exploring "other" activities. I

My First Time

By wazzarello@cox.net I've only had sex with one man in my life, and that was 12 years ago when I was 19. He was a 48-year-old married man with two grown children. He was about 5'9" 190 1bs with balding hair and a black beard with some gray. Although he appeared to be a little on the chubby side, he actually had a solid thick body. I had just finished my first year of college, and since it

My First Time With a Guy

I had always thought that John was really hot, even though I was straight, I could appreciate that, but I never thought of us, you know, getting it on together. We both live in Los Angeles, CA and we were driving to San Francisco to see a friend of ours from high school (we had both just graduated from college). About half way between L.A. and San Francisco, I decided to take a

My First, (Part 1 of 7)

Let me tell you about myself. My name is Mitchell. Mitch for short. I have red hair, green eyes, a ruddy complexion with a lot of freckles, and am 6-foot-5-inches tall. I am 26 years old. I was raised in a strict Irish-Catholic family in the Midwest. I have been a gymnast, a student of karate, and a wrestler since I was 8 years old. I am presently working on my dissertation at a

My First, (Part 2 of 7)

The next morning, I felt as if I hadn’t slept well. I seemed to remember tossing and turning, and for the first time I could remember, my sheets were dry. I felt some soreness in my muscles and decided that it was the result of holding myself rigid for the length of time it took for five people to sit on me. My thoughts still seemed to be focused on why I couldn’t remember what had

My First, (Part 3 of 7)

I looked up at Ryan. He had a look of sympathy and slight amusement and even wonder on his face. I realized that his hand had remained on my penis during all of the orgasm. He drew his hand away and I noticed that it was covered with my sperm. I know I went totally red again. He saw it, smiled, and said, "Wow, Mitch. I guess you were a lot more ready than I thought! And this proves

My First, (Part 4 of 7)

I awoke to my alarm clock. I was disoriented for a moment as I sat up in my bed. I couldn’t remember going to bed. I did remember talking to Ryan and drinking a lot of brandy and decided that I must have gotten so out of it that he had helped me into my apartment and into bed. As I pulled back my blankets, I realized that I was naked and wondered briefly if Ryan had helped me get

My First, (Part 5 of 7)

Finally, I decided that I had to do something. I turned in at the complex where we lived, and pulled up to the front door. "Ryan, go get your drawing pad, OK?" He turned and looked at me. I had had an idea. My karate teacher, Jerry, had a house on a hill above the city. I had watched his house for him from time to time, bringing in the mail, etc. I had a standing invitation to

My First, (Part 6 of 7)

"Mitch, I always thought you were an incredible man. But to shoot off like that twice in ten minutes, Wow!" "Ryan, is that something unusual?" "You’ve got to be kidding." "No, I’m serious. Ryan, you’ve got to remember. I haven’t had a conscious orgasm for years. I guess I’ve never given much thought to what it felt like or anything like that. It was just one of those things I

My First, (Part 7 of 7)

The comfort that came from being in contact with Ryan’s body was satisfying beyond anything I could remember feeling. Somehow, there was a feeling of familiarity to it, a feeling that we belonged together, touching each other’s bare skin. "Ryan, I have to tell you something." "What, Mitch?" "This feels very right. I’m not sure what I expected. But this feels right, good,

My One-time Fantasy Comes True

I don't and have never considered myself the least bit gay, but I have always had this fantasy of a one-time experience with a guy. Masturbating each other, sucking each other, blowing each other, but no "up the ass action". I have always had this fantasy, and thought I might act on it if conditions were perfect, but I would have to see in the moment. I am 18 yo., 5'11", 8" erect,

My Sister's Boyfriend

My name is Jeff. I am 5'8", slightly toned...not what you would call buff, but still in shape. This story refers to my sister’s boyfriend, Matt. Matt is 5'9", blonde hair, baby blue eyes, everything a man would want. I have always noticed him and always wondered how big his dick was. Cristina (“Crina”, my sister) had just come home from Matt’s, crying. I asked her what was wrong and

Night Court

It was the usual scene in the City's Night Court, the Police had rounded up the usual collection of street walkers and brought them before the Judge. Three hookers stood before him, all arrested on the same corner. He asked the first lady what she had to say for herself. The woman was irate, "I don't know what all this is about, your Honor. I'm a college student doing research for a

Older And...

An older gay man asks his husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?" he asks. He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunch time, he asks his husband if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?"

Ooops

Harry had a bit of a drinking problem. Every night, after dinner, he took off for the local watering hole. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home, well inebriated, around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole, and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to

Ooops !

A wealthy couple had plans to go to an evening ball. So they advised their butler that they were giving him the evening off to do as he pleased since they would be out until quite late. The couple went to a ball and dinner. After an hour an a half, the wife told her husband that she was bored and that she preferred to go home and finish some work for the next stay. The husband

Ooops!

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

Opportunity Knocks

A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going. She replied, "I'm going to Las Vegas." He questioned her as to why she was going, and she told him, "I just found out that I can make $400.00 a night doing what I give you for free." He pondered that for a while, went into the house, packed his

Parents Away - Part 1

About 6 years ago, when I was 13 and just went through puberty, my parents went to Aruba for two weeks and left me and my brother home. It was February so we still were in school, and every weekend we would have a couple of my brothers friends over, which I usually hung out with. One of his friends, Jim, would always buy me some alcohol and stuff. Well that Friday we all got

Parents Away - Part 2

The next Friday we once again got trash and once again Jim and I ended up again in my parents bedroom. He moved over to my side of the bed and stretched. He asked if I minded if he put his arm around me. Of course I said no. Then he asked me if I was drunk, and I said yes. I then asked him and he also replied yes. I was really hot so I stripped to my underwear. He did

Paris Oohh Paris

Paris yolculuèu Senede 1-2 kere Parise iß için giderim.Bazen eßimi yanüma alür,bazen de tek baßüma gittièim olur.Bayramdan bir hafta õnce 3 gùnlùèùne,ßirket tarafündan bir taküm incelemeler yapmak ùzere tek baßüma gittim.Tabii ki ilk gece epey yorgundum.Ýkinci gùnùn akßamü Paris sokaklaründa dolaßtüktan sonra ,meßhur Pigal mahallesine girdim.Orada bir sùrù sex shop mevcut.Bazülaründa aßaèüda

Peer Pressure

The other day, my friends and I decided to 'do' the town. We started out at our regular gay bar and wound up at a night club that had male strippers. We were all pretty loaded by this time. One of the guys wanted to impress the rest of us, so he pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek! Not to be

Penis Humor

Penis Humor: The Excedrin Penis: It's thhhhhiiiiiisssss big. The Sprite Penis: Image is nothing... Taste is everything. The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you. The Life Call Penis: It's fallen and it can't get up!! The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it... The Tootsie Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...??? The M&M's Penis: Melts in your mouth--- not in your

Penis Poem

The Penis Poem My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches

Perception

A man walks into his local gay bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer. After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for another beer. This happens about another seven times before the bartender asks him, "Why do you keep looking in your pocket?" The man replies, "I have a picture of my lover in

Peter Was 18 With a Lot of Class

I met a guy through a personal column, and he came over to my place one night to get acquainted. We were sitting there that night, having a drink, with the lights low, and we walked to my bedroom window. There was a guy across the lane, jacking off. Boy, was Peter surprised. Up to that time, besides my preoccupation with solo-sex, my sexual experiences had all been with guys who

Pickup Love

It was the night before the 4th of July and the summer sucked. I had just finished my freshman year of college. All the girls wanted were the older jocks, and I discovered that no matter how horny I might be, the only release would be jerking off. So my mood was black and blue, and my bonehead move just hours before didn't help. I had heard that one of the girls that everyone

Pissed

A man on a construction site 30 floors up had to go to the bathroom. He approached his foreman and told him that he was going down to use the facilities. The foreman told him he was crazy. By the time he got down and back he'd lose a half hour of time. The foreman pushed a plank out over the edge of the building. He stood on one end and told the guy to go out on the other end

Please...

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He went home to tell his lover and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked his lover if he would have sex with him because he only had 24 hours to live. "Of course, Darling!" he replied. And so they had sex. Four hours later they were lying in bed and he turned to his lover again, and

Predictable

One night two men both at a gay bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the first man says to his new found friend, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The other doctor agrees to it. So they go back to his place and he goes in the

Predictable

One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they’re both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, “Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It’ll just be one night of fun.” The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She

Prison Mate

starting a conversation. I just lay there in the dark waiting for morning and wondering what the stranger above me was like. His voice was deep and husky, yet it sounded young and powerful. I guess tomorrow would reveal all. Eventually I fell asleep, even though it must have been a very light sleep, for I was awoken suddenly by the movement in the bunk above, as my cell mate got

Public Bath

Boy do I love big dicks. Of course, nowadays, getting fucked by a raw dick is a thing to avoid. But some years ago, before AIDS became a real mess, I used to head for the baths every weekend and search for the biggest dick I could find to fuck me. I remember one night at Mac's, in Silverlake, this big black dude caught my attention. This guy was big all over! He looked like a

Revenge Takes Its Toll

A man came home just in time to find his lover in bed with another man. In a total rage, he dragged his lover down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next he picked up a hacksaw. The lover terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?" The man, with a gleam of revenge in his eye,

Robert (Wagon Train) Horton

***The following story is a work of fiction.*** One of the most famous "Wagon Train" episodes -- "The Gabe Carswell Story" -- first aired on January 15, 1958. In this episode, 33-year-old series star Robert Horton, playing frontier scout "Flint McCullough," found himself stripped to the waist, staked-out under the blazing sun, and left to die a slow death by a vengeful "half breed"

Robocock

Dr. Joe White entered the office of his lab and closed the door. He was a handsome stud, no stranger to the gym. His face held a concerned look as his creation didn’t immediately come to greet him. Suddenly he heard the familiar metal and machine noises coming from the gym area, and he relaxed. Robocock walked into view. He was an amazing 6' amalgam of muscle and polished metal.

Santa's Had It With Straights !

T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scrap the whole works I've busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight Rudolph

Selling It on Cellular

There were several men in the locker room of a private club, after exercising. Suddenly, a cell phone that was on one of the benches, rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: - "Hello?" - "Honey, It's me. Are you at the club?" - "Yes." - "Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat... It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy

Settling In Together...

Mark met a handsome guy, Andy, and he decided he wanted to settle into a relationship right away. Andy said, "But we don't know anything about each other." Mark said, "That's all right. We'll learn about each other as we go along." So Andy consented, and they went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. So one morning they were lying by the pool, when Mark got up off of his towel,

Severe Punishment

Very few people know about the Disciplinary Rehab Center outside Nashville, Tennessee, and I suppose some would be shocked if they did know. Yet I feel it is a necessary function of the AF and other branches of the service to be sure the real fuck-ups don't get back into the civilian world without having had some rehab training and discipline. The AF sends a lot of 91s and officers

Sex With The Cyclist

I am a model, and I try my best to keep in shape and looking good. On the weekends, I enjoy sunbathing in the nude so that I do not have any tan lines. I go to a park on a lake, get naked, and sunbath in the bed of my truck. I have never seen anyone in the park, but this weekend I saw and got to enjoy a cyclist. I was laying in the bed of in my chair with my cooler of water

Shirtless Truckers In Love

"Baz, go on, get out! And never come here again!" Baz's parents shut the door on their son. He had been disowned because they had found out he was gay. His parents were very homophobic and hated all gays, so they had chucked him out. Baz walked along with his suitcase. He had no friends and his only other living relative was an aunt in LA, 500 miles away. Since it was the middle

Shopping Surprise

A guy arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find his lover in bed with a young, handsome boy. Just as he was about to storm out of the house, his lover stopped him with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young guy, looking poor and tired, I offered him a ride. He was hungry, so I brought

Shower Time

Chris came to college two quarters after I did. He was about 5'6" and built. He had a perfect six-pack stomach, very defined legs and arms, and a perfect bubble butt. He also didn't mind showing himself. He would walk to the shower naked or lay around in his room naked. The college that we attended was what I call a suit case college. On the weekends, everyone packs up and goes

Size Matters

A few days after Jack met Woody, he had his name tattooed on his penis to show him how much he loved him. When erect, the name was fully visible; but when deflated, it read "Wy". Woody was delighted with Jack's "special emblem of devotion." Later in the year they decide to go to Jamaica for their vacation. Their hotel had three beaches, one traditional, one nudist, and one gay

Son of A ...

Two tall trees are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. One of the trees says to the other, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The other tree says that he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The tall tree says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that sapling is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

Splattering Jim Palmer

***The following is a work of fiction*** The year was 1981. Mike and I were alone in the fraternity house, thumbing through a copy of "Newsweek" magazine. Suddenly we came across a full-page ad showing baseball star Jim Palmer, modeling a pair of Jockey briefs. And not the regular kind of white briefs, but rather a pair of red bikini briefs with a bulge in the crotch that, as they

Stature is Everything

A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the

Stepbrother

I was 19 and in college, and had been interested in other boys for quite some time. I fantasized constantly about it, but had kept it to myself for fear of what people might think. That was all to change however, when my mother remarried, to a very nice man with an 18 year old son named David. David was a real fox! He had light brown hair, beautiful green eyes, the most perfect

Straight Stud's Rape, Part 1

It was getting close to midnight, almost time for me to close up the store, and it was none to soon. That's when he walked in. Earlier, that evening I had sold him some beer and cigarettes. His slurred speech and stumbling movements told me the beer had taken his effect. His slurred masculine voice asked me for a pack of reds in the box. I eyed him up and down as I made

Straight Stud's Rape, Part 2

I shook him, he didn't react. I shook him harder, still nothing. I pushed him over to the passengers side of the pick up. He didn't even moan. I climbed in beside him and thought for a few minutes. I stared at him, and knew what I had to do. I stepped out of the truck and unlocked the store. I got a sack and begin to gather various things from the store. I got

Straight Stud's Rape, Part 3

I looked at the stud's boner, the uncut meat looked tantalizing, but those man nipple's needed a work over, too. I straddled him, his hard cock pressing into my inner thigh, and bent down placing my mouth on his left nipple. I gently sucked it into full hardness, watching the brown nipple grow stiffer. He had really long nips. I knew they needed a good chew. I bit

Straightboy?

My friends came up from college for the weekend. I went out that day to get ready, purchasing two cases of beer for the party we'd been planning for the whole week. Kristen brought up a quarter of weed and her really cool bong cause we were all going to get quite stoned. I'd never tried pot before, because smoking always makes me cough an awful lot. Kristen was coming up with her

Strip Poker at a Lake Cabin (Part 1)

My name’s Rob and my wife (Cindy) and her best friend (Barbara) were going out of town over Memorial Day weekend to have a 10th high school reunion with their girlfriends. That was going to leave me all alone at the house over the long weekend. “Bull shit” I thought and opted not to stay “home alone” for the weekend. I rented out a secluded lake cabin about 2 hours upstate from our

Strip Poker at a Lake Cabin (Part 2)

Continued from Part 1 - Lance walked back over to the table and told me to lie down. I was really nervous and was starting to shake. He told me to relax, but I couldn’t. He took each of my legs and put them onto his chest with my feet sticking up past his broad shoulders. My legs were really shaking. He pulled my ass down to the edge of the table and then pushed himself on top

Sweaty Latino Barber

I was at the local barber shop and they had no air conditioner, man, it was boiling hot in there! I was ok though. I kept myself happy by watching all the sweaty men in the place. They were like fucking pigs, sweat dripping down their faces in streams. It was really sexy to me. I just sat on the bench, with a big smile on my face. I was too busy admiring the stinking men that I

Tavern Tipsy

From the State where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes a (supposedly) true story from Madison, Wisconsin. Recently a police patrol car routinely parked outside a local Neighborhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly

Tennessee Degree

A young man graduated from the University of Tennessee with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper who hired him was to write a human interest story. Being from Tennessee, he went back to the country to do his research. He went to an old farmer's house way back in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer and proceeded to explain to him why he was there.

Texas Bragging Rights

In a Texas bar, the bartender Fred was fed up with penis-boasting from the regulars. So to put an end to all the boasting Fred says to them, "Whip 'em out!" Fred pulls a yard stick from under the bar to begin measuring all the exposed cocks. Just then a gay guy walks into the bar. Fred asks the man if there is something that he can get for him. The gay guy replies, "I was going to

Thanksgiving Sex

I went home for Thanksgiving to be with my family and friends for the big Thanksgiving dinner. My family isn't that large, but I have a large extended family. At our dinner, we usually have about 30 people, and I get to see people that I haven't seen since last year. Sine my mother is always going crazy with the house, I stay in a motel room in order to keep my sanity. After our

That's nice...

Two police officers saw this old man staggering down the street. Stopping him, they can tell he has had far too much to drink and instead of taking him to jail they decide to just drive him home. They loaded him into the police cruiser and one of the officers gets in the back with the drunken man. As they drove through the streets they kept asking the man where he lived, all he

The Boys Next Door

All the neighbors complained when the three young men moved in the apartment across the hall from mine. The cry went up that the newcomers would play loud music and keep everyone in the building awake with their comings and goings. Everyone complained but me. I knew three good looking hunks when I saw them, and these guys were beautifully built. I studied them carefully as they

The Confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the woman you were with?" "Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?" "I

The First

So after months and months of flirting and chatting online I finally decided to meet James, a guy I'd been chatting with online for many a late night. He first instant messaged me about a year ago and he said he liked my profile. It seemed harmless enough but he slowly started asking me questions about if I'd ever fantasized about being with a guy. Honestly, it had never really

The Forfeit

It was late Sunday afternoon in a house in the mountains. After spending a weekend out of town, it was time for me to head out on the road to return home for work the next day. My friend Mike had been insisting all day that I call in sick so I could stay one more day until he left for his home on Monday. I really needed to get back because I had a full day of work, and my team was

The Fucking of a Lifetime

I am for sure—straight. Always did, and still consider myself straight. But one day after going swimming with my friend, we were in the locker room and he, even though he's not gay either, noticed a good-looking guy. He made me a $1000 bet that I couldn't get him to suck my cock. The guy was good looking, and for $1000, it was worth it. So we made the bet and off I went. I had

The Gift

The Gift A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of

The Masturbation Showers

In the locker room at college, there are showers at either end. Guys at my school would frequently masturbate in the showers, because they had the time. But some guys just didn't want to see other guys jerking their cocks, or spilling their male goo everywhere. So we got the school to make two signs, one for each shower room: "Masturbation Allowed" and "No Masturbation". So if you

The Penis Poem

My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the

The Perfect Prescription

A man went into a pharmacy on Polk Street in San Francisco, and asked to talk to the pharmacist. The guy he was talking to said that he was the pharmacist and that he and his lover owned the store. He then asked if there was something he could help the man with. The man said "this is embarrassing for me, but I have a huge cock which is permanently erect and causes me a lot

Think Before You Speak...

A doctor and his lover are having an argument in the morning over breakfast and the doctor blurts out, "You know what? You're not that great in bed anyway!" So he goes off to work and thinks it over and decides to call his boyfriend and make amends....So he calls the house and the phone rings many, many times and then his lover finally answers the phone completely out of

Timber!

A lady from California bought a piece of timberland in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land, so she started to climb the big tree. As she eared the top, she found a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, she slid down the tree and got many splinters in her private parts. In a lot of pain, she

Too Many Martini's

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "Excuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?" "Nothing," said the Irishman, "my boyfriend just sent me out

Top 45 Oxymorons

45. Act naturally 44. Found missing 43. Resident alien 42. Advanced BASIC 41. Genuine imitation 40. Airline Food 39. Good grief 38. Same difference 37. Almost exactly 36. Government organization 35. Sanitary landfill 34. Alone together 33. Legally drunk 32. Silent scream 31. Living dead 30. Small crowd 29. Business ethics 28. Soft rock 27. Butt Head 26. Military

Top Man

I didn't feel like going to the gym today because it was so nice outside. I put on my tight tank top and short spandex shorts and went anyway. I'm 23 years old, 5'11, brown hair and have blue eyes -- very college jock type. I am 190lbs. of pure smooth muscle and I'm ripped! I have huge thighs, a tiny waist and an awesome bubble butt that looks totally hot in my electric blue

Trouble With Crusin'

Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter, with a great big smile on his face. Dave says, "John what are you so happy for?" "Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I said, 'Sure you can

Ty (Bronco) Hardin

***The following is PURELY a work of fiction*** It's July of 1971 and I'm lying in a hotel bed in Spain, next to the sleeping form of ex-TV star, Ty Hardin. He's sprawled face-up on top of the sheets, stark naked, eyes closed, mouth half-open. He's snoring and there's still a hint of liquor on his breath. His legs are spread apart and I find myself staring, as I did the night

Vacanze in Grecia

Premetto che è una storia di pura fantasia erotica. Partii per le vacanze estive con il mio amico e mi recai nell'isola del divertimento la splendida isola di IOS in Grecia. I primi giorni trscorsero veloci, tra una tintarella e l'altra. Un giorno io e il mio amico dicidemmo di andare a noleggiare un motorino per girare tutta l'isola. Ci recammo sulla spiaggia più vicina e

Viagra At Any Age

An elderly gentleman went to the local drugstore & asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen, but can you cut each 1 into 4 pieces?" The pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through sex." The elderly gentleman replied, "Oh, that's alright, I'm

Visiting the Doctor

It was the third day in a row that my cock was erect. By this time I was frightened, three days and unable to lose my erection!! I tried everything, masturbating, getting sucked on for three hours straight even icing it and still hard. I knew I had to go visit my doctor saw I just showed up at the office as this was an emergency for me at least. I had a long jacket on but was able

Walking Along the Beach

One day in mid July, I was walking along one of the non-clothing optional beaches (must wear clothing) in the area where I live. I was wearing a bikini and shoes that was it. I was just walking along, enjoying the heat and the sun and I see this really good-looking guy walking in the opposite direction as me, wearing a string bikini, which barely covered anything. In the front,

What Ever It Takes to Golf on Saturday

There were three friends that always wanted to play golf every Saturday afternoon but couldn't because of there wives, so one day after many years they finally got together on the golf course and were waiting at the first tee when one guy said: "I had to buy my wife a diamond necklace to get to play today!!!" The second said, "That's nothing I had to buy MY wife a new sports car

What? 30 Years and No Watch?

George, the postman, was retiring after 30 years. And today was the LAST day on his route. As he approached Mrs. Smith's residence, she opened the door and said: "Oh, George! I think it is SO wonderful! Just think - 30 years on the job!" She took him by the arm and led him into the house. "Today, in celebration, I have a SURPRISE for you!" She sat him down at the dining room

When My Friends Surprised Me

This a true story of my 18th birthday, just a few weeks ago! It was the morning of my 18th birthday. It was a Saturday morning so I didn't have to go to school. I was so excited because the week before, my best friend, who is so hot, has such a great, hard body and is just gorgeous, promised me a surprise on my birthday. Him and me do a lot of jacking off together, and so I

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