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Why It's Great To Be a Man

by Tongueincheeks


Why it's Great to be a Man...

You can kill your own food

Phone conversations last only 30 seconds

A five day vacation requires only one suitcase

Bathroom lines are 80% shorter

You can open all your own jars

Old friends don't care if you've lost or gained weight

When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying

You can go to the bathroom alone

Peeing position is optional--standing preferred (if your aim's good and you have to clean your own toilet)

Your last name stays put

You can leave a hotel room bed unmade

The garage is all yours

You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes

If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend

Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3

None of your coworkers have the power to make you cry

You don't have to shave below your neck

Chocolate is just another snack

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat

You never have to worry about anyone else's feelings

Three pair of shoes are more than enough

You can say anything and not worry about what people think

You can whip your shirt off on a hot day

Car mechanics tell you the truth

You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut

One mood, all the time, 24/7

You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him

Gray hair and wrinkles add character

You don't care if someone is talking behind your back

You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's

The remote is yours and yours alone

You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the bathroom

If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends that you've "changed"

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies

The occasional well-rendered belch is expected

If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet

You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is funny

If you retain water, it is in a canteen

Flushing the toilet is optional

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5 Gay Erotic Stories from Tongueincheeks

Doug Brady, Marine, Part 2

“Trust me, I won’t ever forget this night,” Doug said. Scott reached over and laid his hand on Doug’s hip. “I wish I could show you everything I want to.” “Who says you can’t?” “You wouldn’t go for it,” Scott said. “If you mean...no, I can’t reciprocate, if that’s what you mean.” “I wouldn’t expect you to. That’s part of what makes you, you,” Scott said. “But that’s not what I

Valentine's Day Gifts

By Tom Dolby (Out Magazine, February 2005) No holiday bring on more gift-giving anxiety than Valentine’s Day. The meaning of a gift can change depending on how long you’ve been together and the dynamics of your relationship. Here’s a sampling of a few Valentine’s Day gifts and the mixed messages they may send: 1. A humorous e-valentine. Appropriate after 3 days. A. “We don’t need to

When It Hits You In The Face, Part 1

I consider myself pretty fortunate in life so far. I grew up in the Midwest and was raised by hardworking, loving and nurturing parents. I discovered my sexual preferences during my early high school days, but never acted on my inclinations, with the exception of fooling around with my cousin when our family all got together on holidays, etc. Raymond was fun, to be sure, but neither of us were

When It Hits You In The Face, Part 2

When It Hits You In The Face, Part 2 My eyes hadn’t adjusted to the darkness yet, having just left the bathroom and turned out the light. I was easily maneuvered off balance, and found myself spread over both Andy and Bruno’s naked bodies. Andy knew full well that I slept in the buff, so there we all were…the three of us naked and in the same bed. “Andy tells me you’re quite a top with

Why It's Great To Be a Man

Why it's Great to be a Man... You can kill your own food Phone conversations last only 30 seconds A five day vacation requires only one suitcase Bathroom lines are 80% shorter You can open all your own jars Old friends don't care if you've lost or gained weight When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying You can go to the

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